Tris Herbin and Vernet, Whilst I appreciate and respect your human rights intent, I think this should remain about the issues at hand and not about the individuals who hold specific opinions. I think it is unacceptable to put people down on the grounds of moral superiority because they hold an opinion that contradicts your own.
People are all at varying stages of healing in the fabric of life. No one is going to just disappear or change on the spot because you want them to — no matter how forcefully you approach them. I too believe that Cyntoia should not be in prison, however I am yet to learn of a more suitable alternative for her.
I think If there was a suitable and affordable psychiatric facility for initial admission and assessment to develop a suitable treatment plan with ongoing outpatient — again affordable — psychiatric and psychological treatment then that would be a good option. Would she have access to that? I can confidently say that I have great knowledge and experience with regard to Borderline Personality Disorder — A debilitating, painful, destructive and highly complicated behavioral disorder.
Words cannot describe what I saw. I am shaped into a different man from that experience. I am now a 28 yo single father to our beautiful 2 year old daughter. Having been admitted to a psychiatric hospital, receiving a harrowing diagnosis of BPD, starting a new relationship whilst still in hospital, having 3 abortions over the following 6 months and going through successive unstable relationships as an ongoing saga — she now understands and has accepted through the limited counselling she actually attended — that she crushed me, my family and would have destroyed our child emotionally had that separation not have occurred.
She created the separation as she perceived rejection by me, although this was never my intent. Despite her knowledge of her illness she is still a risk to our child and refuses to see our little one despite me going through everything possible to try to make things work after she was diagnosed. This is because she is aware of how destructive she is to anyone who loves her. I have found some peace, however I remain uninterested in dating.
I will eventually fully move on but a part of me will remain with her forever. Her mother abandoned her when she was 2 and left her with an abusive father. Not having her daughter was still not enough for her to commit to treatment. She was offered all the love in the world and yet, through the shear force and pervasive nature of her terrible illness, she created destruction all around her with manipulation, emotional blackmail and terrible lies. From what I understand; through committed treatment and formal intervention — often at great expense — some people can overcome the worst of this illness to lead a less painful life.
Usually they must endure and cause ongoing suffering until they either take their own life or commit to meaningful change. And even under ideal circumstances change is extremely slow and bumpy — and usually only lasts until a stressful life event throws the sufferer back to where they started, or at least seriously sets them back. Yes it is usually a bleak outlook — but not always. But BPD sufferers all share one thing in common — they have been diagnosed with a serious psychiatric illness that requires specialist treatment.
Unfortunately most sufferers are free to continue with destructive relationships — and they either choose empathetic and loving people whose lives they turn upside down or seriously abusive people who damage them further like Cyntoia.
Often terrible outcomes can result for the partner, including depression and suicide. I am referring to overwhelming instances I have come across which are so similar to my situation and I am not solely reflecting what happened to me. I was fortunate in that I took myself to a psychologist and identified what was happening before it was too late. My psychologist dispelled that concern over time and helped me identify how it all came about. I am now studying psychology and my daughter has a healthy and secure attachment and is developing very well.
Most are not so fortunate. When I am qualified I will be a drop in the ocean of people trying to help people like Cyntoia, along with others who are suffering to varying degrees, but I hope I can make a small difference. It could be a bigger difference but for the systems and political attitudes currently in place. In my opinion, with regard to this thread and the documentary to which it relates, the entire system needs to change.
My ex partner will probably have more children and continue having unstable and destructive interpersonal relationships. As sad as it is I believe she would find greater peace in a secure environment where things remain stable, predictable and simple. If only governments would wake up and provide the in-patient and out-patient care needed for all people who suffer with a mental illness, but especially for people with a complicated illness like Cyntoia.
It would likely become more financially viable than the overwhelming burden of welfare and incarceration costs which are currently used as painkillers, for what is to a certain extent a curable problem. Cyntoia may be young enough for some positive outcomes — but I think from what I have experienced in my situation and from what I understood of the documentary, the environment for this to happen is currently unavailable.
Unconditional love and an open arms approach I believe will be noneffective on its own although may be beneficial in combination with substantial formal treatment. This is also why she struggles to trust her constantly loving foster mother.
She will likely act in accordance with her lack of trust, despite her acknowledgement that she should have opened up to her, and create instability. My heart goes out to Cyntoia and I wept bitterly when she was sentenced. The system is upside down and this goes way beyond Cyntoia and other juveniles tried unfairly as adults.
How many young ladies like Cyntoia who are 18, 19, 20, 21 years old are in there through similar circumstances? This is not an isolated event. For how many will the justice system compound their illness before people finally wake up and develop a system where unwell people are referred to proper help and held in a non-punishment oriented environment for treatment and then reintegration into society when they are healed enough?
If such a system was set in place eventually it would become preventative — providing a better start for future generations where there is a family history of mental illness. If you break your leg you go to hospital, get treatment and go home.
If you commit a crime as a result of a mental illness you go to prison, often with access to little or no treatment. I believe that many of those people could contribute to society positively with the right help. Of course people who are a danger to others must be kept from society until treatment is sufficient, and if successful I feel that it is the political perception on a large scale that must change.
With regard to Cyntoia — I will happily sign the petition if there is a structured and affordable treatment plan in place that is integrated with her family and that she has a strong support network.
But this still does not in any way guarantee a positive outcome. It is however a real chance for her. This is much more complicated than just freeing an unfairly treated young lady. She is a valuable human being deserving of love, without a shadow of a doubt. But she needs help from professionals — I think we are all unqualified to say what should happen with Cyntoia.
Perhaps we should be lobbying in that direction? You all have such strong options — so much so that you feel it appropriate to make character judgments of others who have a right to an option, like Tess for example. Sometimes compassion is not self reflective or soothing. How many of you are in or have been in a relationship with a diagnosed borderline sufferer? How many of you are qualified and currently registered as a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist?
I think you all have a right to your opinions. You are all fellow human beings who have had varying life experiences which have shaped your opinions on this. Our differences highlight the political complications in trying to develop workable solutions. Again, although this is a highly emotionally charged topic, I think we should refrain from judgments of character on this forum. Everyone has opinions of other people but when they are brought into a debate like this the discussion becomes side tracked away from what matters.
Shar Would it be different if she killed a black man? Only bad family life can make this variety of beastly girl. Society does not need Cyntoia or her same. The best indeed sole good result of this story is now she cannot make the breeding and perpetuating of this bad things. Bob Thomas You guys are fuckin crazy! Bitch shot the dude point blank for no reason. Herbin Flamez As you wish upon others; so shall you reep…….
Now go back to the pit of hell in which you came. Vernet am afraid for our daughters because of men like Bob, Nidhish and sad to say even Tess. Herbin Flamez There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of….
Righteous Men outnumber these devils to 1 atleast. Coreece young, misguided taken advantage of…. Cindylou Yes, she has your tax dollars. She has all of our support, whether or not we want to give it. Always smoking the charas and listen to Bob Marley. Not for the adult life of the reality. It is a certainty you are a kind and nice man. But it is truthly the craziness to want evil Cyntoia to be the freedom. She has the dark heart and will forever be the wrongdoer.
Cyntoia must continue the jailbird life. She did the bad crime. To do the murdering of innocent Mr Johnny is a signal of her not suitable nature for the public and freedom society. Only for this I am insisting on the prison for Cyntoia. This world cannot be the functionality if only the Flower Children are making law and legals. If we act virtuously, the seed we plant will result in happiness. If we act non-virtuously, suffering results. Such persons fall into a hell of endless darkness with no hope of release.
Those who are wise hold no such conception. He is always engaged in bad karma. These are your people speaking about Karma….