It was written by a woman , so there is definitely some crap advice in the middle but most of it is spot on: It's about Brazilians but the writer claims that most can be applied to Latins as a whole. The extended family is also important. People tend to live close to Mom and Dad, aunts and uncles. It is also a matriarchal society although men had the power for generations, when it comes to raising kids, mothers are considered more important than fathers.
There are not many people living alone in Brazil. Almost everyone has a partner. Divorce rates unfortunately are growing, so this may change. Still, it is not a very individualistic society.
Children live with their parents until they get married. That of course makes kids closer to their parents, and affects how they see their future family as well.
Men might play soccer with their buddies in the afternoon, women might have a coffee and go shoppping with their female friends but they do not go out at night and leave their partner alone at home. No strip clubs for men in committed relationships either.
If your GF finds out you go to these places you can expect a very strong reaction. We do not require you to spend thousands on a diamond ring. We do not have that tradition see my post about engagement rings. We are happy with a simpler ring or just the wedding band. Some of us though, after living in America and seeing so many De Beers ads, may want a diamond ring after all.
We also do not have to wait for a man to propose. These things are decided jointly by the couple. The old fashioned on your knees proposal is not heard off in real life. They decide to get married and communicate it to their families, period. We do not even have the bachelor party tradition. Sometimes men participate as well a tradition that is also starting here.
Tears, jealous fits, strong reactions to something you did wrong are all typical of our emotional nature. Many are still raised to get married and have children as their first focus and have a career as a secondary pursuit-a necessary evil.
However, that pattern is changing with the younger generations, who are now investing more in their careers. Staying attractive is sine qua non in a culture that judges people by how they look.
They see darker Brazilians as belonging to the lower social classes. That is typical of countries that were afflicted by the horrible thing that slavery was.
Brazil had slavery just like the American South, and one of the consequences of slavery is that it can take several generations for their descendants to reach the same level of success in life that their former owners have. Therefore, Brazilians from African descent became part of the struggling poor in Brazil-they have had a harder time getting education and good jobs. Fortunately, this situation has improved, and Brazilians aren realizing how nefarious racism is.
Sad but still true. Fortunately, Brazil has made some steps in improving wealth distribution in the last decades. Therefore, they are not used to doing housework, which is seen as something beneath them. Working with your hands in Brazil is also associated with the lower economic classes. Many Brazilians when coming to the US for the first time do not even know how to pump gas-having had gas station servers all their lives. Women particularly, are sometimes not very practical when it comes to daily life and expect you to do all the dirty work for her 12 Brazilian women expect the man to be a gentleman.
They like a man who opens doors, drives them places, changes their oil, etc. They are not very good when it comes to practical things they eventually learn after a few years living here , but when it comes to decision making, Brazilian women are opinionated and not shrinking violets. They expect you to respect them and share your decisions with them if part of a couple.
Name calling in Brazil is considered extremely offensive, and a man should never call his wife names no matter how terrible the argument is. A wife, like a mother or a daughter, is sacred.
American movies show a lot of cursing the F word seems to be the most popular. Brazilians associate cursing with gangsters and lowlifes. Many older women in Brazil are in dire economical situation due to widowhood, divorce, lack of opportunities or low paid jobs. The older generation of women did not usually work outside the home. Therefore, they expect their children to take care of them.
They are also often lonely and live vicariously through their offspring. They use guilt tactics to keep the children catering to their needs and see the children-in-law as the devil themselves. Not every mother in law is like that: So beware of the dependant MIL!
Some Brazilian women never grow up and are very dependant on their mothers. Conversely, Brazilian relatives from the upper middle class will stay in hotels-they want privacy and comfort. Brazilians consider Sunday sacred. It is not a day to work, but a day to lounge around, go to the beach, have a barbecue by the pool, go to church for those still brainwashed by religion or just traditional , watch soccer or Formula One races, visit with friends, go sightseeing, nap or watch movies and other leisure actitivities.
Saturday is a day to run errands, but not Sundays! It is not only the Catholic influence but also the fact that in their minds, the work week is for work, while the weekend is for pleasure and rest.
So if you like to tinker with your car, wash it, rebuild the roof of your house, clean the garage or mow the lawn on a Sunday you will find resistance. She will feel abandoned. Not only that, she was raised seeing her Dad pay someone to do those things. The help works, the middle class and the upper middle class rests and plays.
The children come second. You and your wife are the main unit, not you and your kids. Many American men and women turn their focus to the children after they are born, spending little alone time with their spouse. Not spending enough alone time with your spouse, not romancing them and spending too much time on the kids can create resentment.
Children spend time with their parents together, not with only one parent. Telling your kids how much you love them, hugging and kissing them all the time and not doing the same with your spouse can create resentment. Brazilians want the romance to continue, no matter how long you have been married.
They want to walk hand in hand, they want some PDA and they want to know they come first. She will want to attend Church on Sundays, pray to god to make things happen and invoke the Daddy in the sky all the time. Either you get into the religion bandwagon with her, ignore her delusional religiosity or try to make her see the light. There is a famous saying in Brazil: Men who hit their wives are seen as total cowards, since normally men are stronger than women.
Men and women in relationships say that to each other. Love in America is basically anyone you like. She expects both of you to pull your resources together and save, invest and build for the future. Brazilians are big believers in saving money every month. They do not like to have huge debts and bank owned assets.
Brazilian women do have the bag lady syndrome, and want to feel financally secure for the future. Your American prenup mentality is not going to go down well with her. She considers marriage a partnership, and as such, whether she works or not, she will contribute by taking care of the household and the children. She likes to make financial decisions as a couple. Again, Brazilian women really see marriage is a team effort and partnership.