Ball in your court dating. When to Throw the Ball into Her Court (and When Not To).



Ball in your court dating

Ball in your court dating

The movie "Swingers" even had a key scene discussing this rule and the theory behind it: The movie also showed the potentially disastrous consequences of not following the Two Day Rule, when Mikey calls the girl he met that same night.

How do I respond? Should I suggest another date? Should I tell her to let me know when she is free? First you waited two days, then you called her.

She may even text you first, and well before two days. But you already know this. But what you may not know is that while the Two Day Rule is mostly a relic of a previous era, the principles behind it remain.

As I mentioned before, one principle is avoiding looking needy or desperate, but the act of texting already mitigates a lot of them. And this is the concept I want to talk about today: She puts it in her purse. You talk a little longer, and then you both go home. You want to see her again. But… how can you reach her? You just have to wait for her to call you.

Do you know many girls willing to do that? This is why the Two Day Rule was sufficient in the pre-cell phone area. There was no question that you controlled initiating contact afterwards. He had plans with a girl, she texts him flaking out. Being so available conveys way too much interest, way too soon. You may be tempted to pick Response B. Was she really busy at work, or is that just a convenient excuse for her not being that interested in you? You may think Response A is the most direct way to answer that question.

And while all that line of logic is true, Response C is the right answer. You keep the ball in your court. But Response B has let you keep the ball in your court, because you can propose another time to meet yourself. Leaving the ball in her court is a bad idea because it introduces an unnecessary element of risk with no benefit.

Consider any of these scenarios: She feels really bad about flaking out, but she is really slammed at work that night. The next day she does debate texting you, but then second-guesses herself: This is why "some other time" is the best option. I literally cannot think of a single situation where leaving it up to her to contact you benefits. If you can think of one, e-mail me. There is no potential benefit in not having the ball in your court. Lastly, keeping the ball in your court involves more than contact.

Another common mistake men make is asking women what they want to do on a date. This is totally fine for later dates once you are more comfortable with each other, but for a first date, you should always have a good time and place to suggest for the date. And besides, what do you have to lose by keeping the ball in your court?

To extend the analogy, any girl that wants to play tennis with you, will prefer you always serve first. A good rule of thumb is two missed connections. After two missed connections e.

And if she is interested despite the two missed connections, then she should know she has to take the initiative to "put the ball back in your court" ie.

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Idiom: What does "the ball is in your court" mean?



Ball in your court dating

The movie "Swingers" even had a key scene discussing this rule and the theory behind it: The movie also showed the potentially disastrous consequences of not following the Two Day Rule, when Mikey calls the girl he met that same night. How do I respond? Should I suggest another date? Should I tell her to let me know when she is free? First you waited two days, then you called her. She may even text you first, and well before two days.

But you already know this. But what you may not know is that while the Two Day Rule is mostly a relic of a previous era, the principles behind it remain. As I mentioned before, one principle is avoiding looking needy or desperate, but the act of texting already mitigates a lot of them. And this is the concept I want to talk about today: She puts it in her purse. You talk a little longer, and then you both go home.

You want to see her again. But… how can you reach her? You just have to wait for her to call you. Do you know many girls willing to do that? This is why the Two Day Rule was sufficient in the pre-cell phone area. There was no question that you controlled initiating contact afterwards.

He had plans with a girl, she texts him flaking out. Being so available conveys way too much interest, way too soon. You may be tempted to pick Response B. Was she really busy at work, or is that just a convenient excuse for her not being that interested in you? You may think Response A is the most direct way to answer that question. And while all that line of logic is true, Response C is the right answer. You keep the ball in your court. But Response B has let you keep the ball in your court, because you can propose another time to meet yourself.

Leaving the ball in her court is a bad idea because it introduces an unnecessary element of risk with no benefit. Consider any of these scenarios: She feels really bad about flaking out, but she is really slammed at work that night.

The next day she does debate texting you, but then second-guesses herself: This is why "some other time" is the best option. I literally cannot think of a single situation where leaving it up to her to contact you benefits. If you can think of one, e-mail me. There is no potential benefit in not having the ball in your court. Lastly, keeping the ball in your court involves more than contact. Another common mistake men make is asking women what they want to do on a date. This is totally fine for later dates once you are more comfortable with each other, but for a first date, you should always have a good time and place to suggest for the date.

And besides, what do you have to lose by keeping the ball in your court? To extend the analogy, any girl that wants to play tennis with you, will prefer you always serve first. A good rule of thumb is two missed connections. After two missed connections e. And if she is interested despite the two missed connections, then she should know she has to take the initiative to "put the ball back in your court" ie.

Ball in your court dating

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