Can dating an insecure man work. 5 Ways To Find Happiness With A Guy Who’s Insecure.



Can dating an insecure man work

Can dating an insecure man work

View Larger Image So you have found yourself with an insecure man, what do you do now? Sure we all have our insecurities, but I have found this to be the one that women hate the most.

This is also one of the biggest problems that causes the most issues in a relationship. What does it mean when someone is insecure? Essentially, it means they are unconfident. They are protecting something, usually their position, and more than anything, they are fearful of loss. Being insecure means that they are not comfortable with the situation, whatever that is and this inevitably leads to the woman being uncomfortable as well.

As seen in a previous post, women prefer their men to be solid and dependable, like a ship. She needs a man that she can trust and believe in. Without this, she has to do it herself. How does insecurity show up in relationships? Usually insecurity shows its face as jealousy. Previously we learned how jealousy is just an emotion that serves a purpose. It shows itself so that you recognize a potential danger to keeping a person that you care about and the purpose of the emotion of jealousy is to protect that investment.

Commonly, I see this insecurity showing up with overbearing men making statements of control in order to get some kind of semblance of control or comfort in their relationship. At a nightclub, a man asks a woman who she talked with, what things were said, and any other questions that make him feel more comfortable or protected in the relationship.

This never works long term. What do you do when faced with an insecure man? If you have an insecure man that berates you with these requests for safety and security this can present a lot of problems. First, he is now dependent on you and your actions for security. He must get you to comply with him and his wishes for him to feel secure in the relationship. So, you do have the option of playing by his rules and assuring him that he is secure with you. This will be exhausting as it will never be enough for him.

He will constantly ask you these questions and seek security from you, but the truth of the matter is that real security only comes from within. Another option that you have is to recognize the insecurity for what it is. You do this by letting him deal with his insecurity. He can ask you all the questions that he wants about your relationship, who you talked to, what happened, but you have to maintain the standards that you want for the relationship.

This is incredibly challenging especially if the standard is already acceptable for him to ask these nonsensical questions, but you cannot make someone trust you and you have to realize that. Each and every time you answer one of these insecure questions, you reinforce the behavior and you show him that it is okay to ask more of these questions. In addition, he gets a positive momentary boost of security that shows him it is worthwhile behavior for him to be insecure.

A more effective way for him to stop being insecure is for him to deal with it on his own. The last way that you can deal with an insecure man is to cut him loose. Understand that as a woman, it is not beneficial for you to be with an insecure man. In the tribe, thousands of years ago, being with an insecure or an unconfident man would mean death. Imagine the opposite side of insecurity. A simple yet profound comparison The comparison I always make is that of two men who see their women getting hit on at the bar.

The first one fills up with jealousy as he watches angrily. He sees her laugh and then she even politely dismisses the bar guy. However, when she comes back to her man he angrily engages his girlfriend punishing her positive behavior of dismissing the would-be suitor and pulverizes her with question after question on what was discussed.

The woman feels uneasy, her state quickly drops, and not knowing any better she engages the man in his stupid and endless chase for security. They fight more and more, and it leads to nothing but problems in the relationship. The second man sees his girlfriend being hit on by the other man and he takes it as a compliment. When his girlfriend comes back to him, he is easy going and positive. The relationship is better. The second man knows that he is the best possible option for his woman and that nothing he says is going to change that.

This is security in himself. He is comfortable knowing that he is a high-prize and that he chooses his woman and she chooses him.

It is not based on needs. Interrogating a person on their actions in order to get security will push a person away more often than trusting them will.

In fact, more cheating happens under the conditions of an insecure man than that of a secure man. The key here is that you get to decide what you want for the relationship. If you find that you are with an insecure man, you can endure it, accept the relationship standards he sets forth, and you may find yourself in an unbearable situation.

You also have the option of setting new relationship standards and letting him get over his insecurities on his own. You are not his relationship teacher or his helper that fills the missing piece of himself, but you let him do that on his own. It is better for him and then he is not dependent on you. Or you just find a man who is already relatively secure.

This is more challenging, but far more worthwhile. I wish they made more men like this, but I am working on it. This is what women respond to naturally anyway. The choice is yours. Related By Shawn Schweier T Subscribe to Blog via Email Enter your email to get future posts sent to you the instant they're published! Leave this field empty if you're human:

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Dealing With Relationship Insecurity



Can dating an insecure man work

View Larger Image So you have found yourself with an insecure man, what do you do now? Sure we all have our insecurities, but I have found this to be the one that women hate the most. This is also one of the biggest problems that causes the most issues in a relationship. What does it mean when someone is insecure? Essentially, it means they are unconfident. They are protecting something, usually their position, and more than anything, they are fearful of loss.

Being insecure means that they are not comfortable with the situation, whatever that is and this inevitably leads to the woman being uncomfortable as well. As seen in a previous post, women prefer their men to be solid and dependable, like a ship. She needs a man that she can trust and believe in. Without this, she has to do it herself. How does insecurity show up in relationships?

Usually insecurity shows its face as jealousy. Previously we learned how jealousy is just an emotion that serves a purpose. It shows itself so that you recognize a potential danger to keeping a person that you care about and the purpose of the emotion of jealousy is to protect that investment.

Commonly, I see this insecurity showing up with overbearing men making statements of control in order to get some kind of semblance of control or comfort in their relationship. At a nightclub, a man asks a woman who she talked with, what things were said, and any other questions that make him feel more comfortable or protected in the relationship.

This never works long term. What do you do when faced with an insecure man? If you have an insecure man that berates you with these requests for safety and security this can present a lot of problems. First, he is now dependent on you and your actions for security.

He must get you to comply with him and his wishes for him to feel secure in the relationship. So, you do have the option of playing by his rules and assuring him that he is secure with you.

This will be exhausting as it will never be enough for him. He will constantly ask you these questions and seek security from you, but the truth of the matter is that real security only comes from within. Another option that you have is to recognize the insecurity for what it is. You do this by letting him deal with his insecurity. He can ask you all the questions that he wants about your relationship, who you talked to, what happened, but you have to maintain the standards that you want for the relationship.

This is incredibly challenging especially if the standard is already acceptable for him to ask these nonsensical questions, but you cannot make someone trust you and you have to realize that. Each and every time you answer one of these insecure questions, you reinforce the behavior and you show him that it is okay to ask more of these questions. In addition, he gets a positive momentary boost of security that shows him it is worthwhile behavior for him to be insecure.

A more effective way for him to stop being insecure is for him to deal with it on his own. The last way that you can deal with an insecure man is to cut him loose. Understand that as a woman, it is not beneficial for you to be with an insecure man.

In the tribe, thousands of years ago, being with an insecure or an unconfident man would mean death. Imagine the opposite side of insecurity. A simple yet profound comparison The comparison I always make is that of two men who see their women getting hit on at the bar. The first one fills up with jealousy as he watches angrily. He sees her laugh and then she even politely dismisses the bar guy.

However, when she comes back to her man he angrily engages his girlfriend punishing her positive behavior of dismissing the would-be suitor and pulverizes her with question after question on what was discussed. The woman feels uneasy, her state quickly drops, and not knowing any better she engages the man in his stupid and endless chase for security.

They fight more and more, and it leads to nothing but problems in the relationship. The second man sees his girlfriend being hit on by the other man and he takes it as a compliment. When his girlfriend comes back to him, he is easy going and positive. The relationship is better. The second man knows that he is the best possible option for his woman and that nothing he says is going to change that.

This is security in himself. He is comfortable knowing that he is a high-prize and that he chooses his woman and she chooses him. It is not based on needs. Interrogating a person on their actions in order to get security will push a person away more often than trusting them will. In fact, more cheating happens under the conditions of an insecure man than that of a secure man.

The key here is that you get to decide what you want for the relationship. If you find that you are with an insecure man, you can endure it, accept the relationship standards he sets forth, and you may find yourself in an unbearable situation.

You also have the option of setting new relationship standards and letting him get over his insecurities on his own. You are not his relationship teacher or his helper that fills the missing piece of himself, but you let him do that on his own. It is better for him and then he is not dependent on you.

Or you just find a man who is already relatively secure. This is more challenging, but far more worthwhile. I wish they made more men like this, but I am working on it. This is what women respond to naturally anyway. The choice is yours.

Related By Shawn Schweier T Subscribe to Blog via Email Enter your email to get future posts sent to you the instant they're published! Leave this field empty if you're human:

Can dating an insecure man work

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5 Comments

  1. He didn't even like it when she was in a different room in the apartment they shared, and would come and sit beside her. If she really has any brains and a loving heart, she will stay with you and understand and appreciate your goodness. According to stakeholders, these growth and development… TSWeekend I almost dropped out of school for entertainment -Emeka Kachikwu, filmmaker — 8th June Despite being a green horn in the movie industry, the CEO of Mind Bursters Film Ventures, Emeka Kachikwu, has practically set the social media network buzzing alongside other media platforms with his new movie, Boss of All Bosses.

  2. It wasn't as if she'd set out to bring out the worst in this insecure man. And if you work on yourself and participate in things that actually build your confidence , rather than take part in self-destructive behavior that actually chips away at it— you will find that you are no longer attracted to insecure men, you will develop a radar that can see them coming a mile away, and good men will admire your strength, independence and strong will. In fact, an insecure man can be especially tempting to you, particularly if your last relationship was with a narcissistic man who was all about himself and not so interested in you, or a predatory man who was happy to let you support him.

  3. Insecure Men Move FAST In the beginning, they lay it on thick and heavy , telling you everything they think you want to hear, zipping you into the bedroom and a relationship with lightning speed. He didn't even like it when she was in a different room in the apartment they shared, and would come and sit beside her. Its a matter of respect..

  4. This is also one of the biggest problems that causes the most issues in a relationship. You also have the option of setting new relationship standards and letting him get over his insecurities on his own.

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