Dating advice For a few years of my life, I did online dating to death. I became single at As a middle-aged mother with four children, the mature dating arena was particularly fraught. It was nothing like when I was young and you met people through friends and work. Men I thought were single and available turned out to be married and available for only one thing.
Mind you, for many middle-aged women, that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. I actually know loads of really attractive single women who all looking for sex. People view sex differently these days. I know several couples — one who are actually getting married — who started with the sex and got to know each other later.
Conversely, I met many men who were terrified of women, especially sexually rapacious ones. But online dating in your middle ages can undoubtedly be a minefield of subterfuge and pitfalls. After four years in the trenches, I finally met my match - we had mutual friends on Facebook and he chatted me up by saying he liked my photograph - and we got married just before Christmas.
If I am relieved, at 50, to be back out of the dating arena again, I am also determined to pass on my dating tips. No one puts their real age up online.
Men who say they are 55 are actually 60 or even older. Also, photos mean nothing. This is not a euphemism for sex. Lots of men may well want sex but they have the same body hang-ups as women and many of them — ahem — no longer have the same libido as when they were years younger. This is a tricky area and one which, when we were all first dating, never had to think about. I spent far too long dating men I felt sorry for rather than thinking about what I really wanted.
Be aware that women and men are often looking for different things — some older men are looking for a carer, really. There are some really nice men out there, but they might be hopeless at dating. It worked every time and it saves you from being rude.
Be careful to make sure they are who they say they are. If someone chats you up, gets you in to bed but is never around at weekends, he is probably already married.