Dealing with the guilt of dating after loss The death of a partner takes you through all sorts of emotions from anger, guilt and loneliness to despair.
The thought of dating again may seem like a hurdle which is too large to overcome. Understand that you are not alone and everyone deals with loss in their own way and in their own time. Grief is an emotion which has no boundaries or set of rules, allow yourself the time to grieve and heal and when it feels right and only when it feels right you can let someone new in.
Guilt can be overriding when dating or feeling romantic love for a widow or widower. This guilt can come from having fun whilst the deceased partner cannot, it can feel like you are betraying a loved one's memory, for being unfaithful to promises made to one another in life. It is absolutely and completely natural to feel these things. One approach that can help lighten this emotional load is to imagine what your partner would wish for you. If you shared a healthy relationship, the answer is clear they would want to live a full and happy life as you can, they would not want their death to stop you from living.
Remove the guilt within yourself Don't pressurise yourself when you met someone new, laugh and avoid setting expectations for yourself or others.
This is a new phase in your life so embrace changes and don't compare any new partners to old ones, create something new rather than trying to recreate the past. Honour the previous relationship and allow it to be a natural part of the continuum of the new one.
There is no magic formula for love after a partner has passed away it is an emotional and trying process. What is important is that you give yourself permission to go on living and to enjoy each day as it comes. There may be setbacks, guilt and tears but the experience of romance for a second time can help the grieving process. Take baby steps and don't be afraid to fall.
Something very special remains. Your love for each other. The shared history, understanding, jokes and care. The amazing clairvoyants at TheCircle can help you connect with your loved ones, to help you see a way forward to create you a new life and to help ease any feelings of guilt of fear that you may have in this new chapter, allow yourself to live again.