There are women out there — not many, but a few — who are really good at handling men. Perhaps they have brothers. Maybe they have lots of guy friends. They could have had a number of long-term relationships. Why do guys do what they do? Why are they so confusing? But just like I was one of those guys.
I also know that despite seeming like a player, I was always looking for a relationship, I never wanted to hurt anyone, and would never openly criticize a woman I was dating.
On paper, there was nothing wrong with these women. Smart, successful, interesting, educated, attractive, sophisticated, ambitious, opinionated — these were the qualities that drew me to them. Yet they were never enough. My attractive, relationship-oriented male clients feel the same way. Every single one has identical frustrations with the women they date, which has nothing to do with how these women look, how smart they are, how funny they are, how successful they are, or how educated they are.
Men of all different ages, of all different stripes, from all over the world pass up amazing women for reasons that the women have never even considered. Then I found myself on the phone with a close friend who happened to be a business coach. When we were discussing her latest fizzled relationship, the first thing she said was: I mean really, really hurt. I read the entire book in one sitting. Reading Why He Disappeared was like reading my own personal dating history replete with failures.
Except this time, I have the opportunity to get it right. I just told my boyfriend of 3 months yes, he does all of the things on the checklist that I totally trust him This came as the result of another single, mutual friend of ours trying to sabotage our relationship. It made us stronger. It made me anxious to buy Evan's book. I am a successful, independent, African American attorney.
I live in Memphis, TN which, among other issues, does not have the greatest reputation for being a place where singles can live, thrive, and DATE. I am now dating a wonderful and successful African American man whose devotion to me never ceases to amaze me. We are both in our late 30s I am 37 and he is 36 , and yes, I do want children someday. Neither one of us have children.
Although, I am in a relationship, I found the advice on page 35 of the book regarding what men want to be highly enlightening. I too believed that just being beautiful I am often told this by men and women alike , successful, financially stable, secure, confident, and a great cook, would cause me to have men lined up down the street and around the corner--not so. I blamed it on the fact that most of the men I date have not acquired the success nor the financial stability I have, and they are intimidated.
When my guy called last night he works in corporate America and travels with his position , we talked, I giggled softly, I did not indict him for his perceived flaws, he asked if I minded cooking lasagna for him when he returns this weekend, I obliged. He called me back before going to sleep thanking me for being supportive of him.
Thanks to you, Evan, I now have a fighting chance with this relationship before knocking myself out of contention. No, I do not know whether I will marry him, but if even my excuses about the shortage of men of my ethnicity could be dissolved by reading your book, then ANY woman's excuses should dissolve just as rapidly.
But they HAVE said to it to me. Not the bad men — the bad men are clueless — but the GOOD men. The men you want. The men who make you laugh. The men who believe in chivalry. The men who want families. The men who value commitment. If you are truly serious about finding the love of your life then I suggest you fully commit yourself to being guided by Evan.
The most important, earthshattering, revolutionary idea about the men who have disappeared and left you broken-hearted. Learn this, and drop a lifetime of pain and confusion, freeing yourself up for true love. What traits desirable men desire most of all in a woman. The answers will surprise you! Find out what that is. The dozens of things that men do to please you on the first date and the ONE thing you have to do to please them in return!
How to instantly determine if your boyfriend is using you for the short-term or is in it for the long haul. And it gives you the clarity you deserve. Why knowing how to change a man is NOT the answer to being happy and secure, and the one thing you CAN control and change immediately. How to turn your love life around by simply changing your perspective in this one, specific way.
Do this and every man will want a second date with you. How a 5-minute exercise can literally turn around an entire date. How to let go of years of pain and frustration and leave it buried in the past where it belongs.
How you can connect equally well with average guys and intellects, and make each and every date into a positive experience. If so, you could be making him lose interest and disappear. Find out how to avoid this critical mistake.
A guaranteed method to determine if a guy is serious about you after the first date. Exactly how much time you need to set aside each week to ensure that love can enter your life you NEED to take this seriously.
The one all-purpose method for dealing with the check at the end of a date. Do this and there will never be another awkward moment — for either of you. The right time to bring up serious relationship issues — and have them taken seriously by your boyfriend! A little annoying, right? A man will start to lose interest if he senses THIS in the way you talk about your past relationships. The most important thing you can say to yourself when your guy has put his foot in his mouth or done something really stupid.
Learn this and change your life! The 3 most valuable techniques that the smartest women use to keep the relationship healthy. I literally married my wife because she knew these 3 techniques!
Do you assume that ALL men are lying, emotionally unavailable, commitmentphobic? Without this, good men will quickly disappear. Why men would often rather hang out with their guy friends — and what you can do to become part of his innermost circle.
The kind of self-help books that men read and the ONLY reason that a man will ever choose to change for your relationship. The key to figuring out which issues you can deal with from men, and which ones you should run from. The answer might surprise you!
You should be skeptical. Smart women always are. Just ask some of the readers who have already taken my advice to heart. I have always struggled with the whole ''let the guy pursue you'' concept. From a woman''s perspective, I always want to be up-front about my interest level, and thought that if I didn't show interest, the guy would move on. I am in the ''courting phase'' in my current relationship yes, we met online. Every fiber of my being wanted to e-mail my new guy today, just to let him know that I was thinking of him, etc.
But after reading your book, I decided to take your advice and Don't. And, BTW, he had said to me casually a couple of times that ''it's all about the chase, don't forget that. And I followed your instructions, and responded happily to his e-mail and his text. Now, the other part of the book that resonated with me was written by your wife, so you get no credit. Right has a big family ''birthday dinner'' on Sunday because 4 of his family members have birthdays within a few weeks. He did not ask me to attend this event.
I was hurt at first, but after reading what your wife wrote, I understand that him not inviting me to this, has nothing to do with me. We're going on a trip to Aruba next week. I think I found you just in the nick of time. Your advice is spot-on, and sometimes from a female perspective hard to swallow.
I felt so relieved to learn how to focus on men's behaviours instead of words, but especially, how to flatter and bring out the best in the men I was dating. This took the pressure off, made dating more fun, and was extremely effective at making men feel comfortable. As well, I learned a very important lesson about how to recognize the good things men were doing, which I often overlooked, and forgive their minor mistakes.
I applied Evan's approach and saw immediate results.