For more press info contact Helen Campbell: Do you have things in common that span the difference in years? For example, will you enjoy similar music, films and TV and using modern technology? If you struggle to listen to the same music or watch the same films, you could find it difficult to maintain your relationship once passion has cooled. Do you know what your partner plans for the future? Talk about arrangements for sharing money and whether starting a family is important.
Explain your attitudes and preferences before you find out the hard way how the differences between you affect you later in the relationship. What do your parents and friends think about the relationship? You may not immediately agree with their opinion, but it can be helpful to listen to their ideas.
Remember, they will be the supporters of the relationship if it goes well, and the people you will turn to if it all goes wrong. Make time to understand why you have chosen a relationship with an older person. You may be attracted to the attributes of the individual you have chosen, but try to reflect on why you have made a relationship with someone where there is an age gap rather than someone closer to you in age. Ask yourself if there are reasons why you have made this choice at this time of your life.
A generation or two ago, divorce was only just beginning to be common, and admitting to a same sex partner was very difficult. Thankfully, things are different now, with couples making loving relationships across ages and genders. But age gap relationships can bring with them some issues that are not often considered when the couple first start seeing each other.
This may seem unromantic, but it will pay dividends in the future. For instance, talking about how money is divided and who will manage the bank accounts is crucial. This is especially true if the older partner has had a previous relationship and perhaps children from this partnership. Talking about how insurance and inheritance is likely to be handled in this situation could prevent many arguments in the future, particularly if the arrangements with the previous relationship might cause contention.
If the older partner already has children, or never wanted them, then this will need to be negotiated with the younger partner, who may be eager to start a family. It is surprising how few age gap couples take this into account at the start of a relationship. My experience of seeing these couples in therapy is that they often only begin to think about family matters some time into the partnership, and then discover that their partner has a completely different attitude.
This can be disastrous if either person has privately hoped for a family. For women, there is the additional concern about the advent of the menopause. To discover that a younger partner does not want children once the relationship is well under way can be hurtful and disappointing as well as leaving the woman with a biological clock ticking and no hope of beating the alarm.
Older men may hope that their younger partner will quickly want a child, only to discover she wants to boost her career before considering a baby. Although attitudes have changed for the better, bringing a man or woman home that is closer in age to a parent than a friend can be unnerving, especially if parents are critical or concerned about the future of an adult child with an older man or woman.
A couple who are in love may not realise the strength of the views of others. For instance, parents may fear that their son or daughter will have to care for a much older partner, or worry that they will commit themselves to a relationship where the differences are greater than the similarities. Julia Cole - common assumptions about age gap relationships He just wants a pretty girl on his arm to boost his masculinity. For some men this may have an element of truth.
If an older man is feeling unattractive or been through a punishing divorce, a younger woman may increase his sense of masculinity. She wants a father figure. He wants a mother figure. This is especially true if she has come from a relationship with a man of her own age where she felt unable to fully express herself. She wants a toy boy for the sex.
Older women are said to increase their sexual responsiveness as they grow older, while men are more likely to reach their sexual peak at a younger age. From this point of view, an older woman and a younger man make a perfect match. However, once the sexual relationship begins to mature, other matters see above will come into play. If there is a very large age gap, this is certainly a possibility. But some couples will not see this as a bar to commitment, and may even feel it is part of the unspoken contract they are signing up to.
Age gap relationships are all about power and control. This is more likely if the older partner has previously been in a relationship where they felt out of control, or controlled by their ex. This is why it is important to discuss your shared attitudes to age gap relationships before getting into a relationship you are uncertain about.
For grooms, the average age for marrying in was Women have seen a similar general increase, from This may be due to the delay in first marriage and the increasing number of remarriages. If you would like a ring-back, please remember to include your telephone number.