Dating guy talks too much. What Do You Do When a Guy Talks About Himself All The Time?.



Dating guy talks too much

Dating guy talks too much

What makes these people tick? What can we do about them? And maybe more important, what can you do if you happen to be one of them? Talking is part of what we humans do.

A number of my colleagues on PT have written about the difficulty some of us have either listening to others or to ourselves.

Ellis of Columbia University. It is also a tool in learning. Maybe this last part—that says the ability to process complex auditory signals is an important factor in our ability to learn—explains why it seems that so many people who talk at us have difficulty learning how to be more related. This is not to say that all people who talk incessantly are not deeply connected to others. But it does seem to make it difficult for them to recognize different moods and responses in their listeners.

Some people who talk a lot are not able to engage in this interactive rhythm, not because they do not care, but because they cannot tolerate the emotions that might emerge as they listen to another person. In fact, in the course of my work as a therapist, I have found that many non-stop talkers actually use their words to stop themselves from knowing what they are feeling. His wife was threatening to leave him because, she said, he did not care about or understand her. Max talked his way through two sessions, almost without taking a breath, before I was able to interrupt him and ask how he was feeling.

But many people, like Max, are overwhelmed by their own feelings and push them away by talking. Either way, these monologues are the opposite of the kind of story-telling exchange that Mankell describes, that bring us closer to other people. And both of these kinds of talking make it hard for a person to learn to manage his or her feelings in another way.

Here are five simple suggestions that might help: First, listen—but not for too long. As you are listening, try to formulate for yourself what this person is trying to communicate: Is it a wish to be admired?

A thought that they cannot get out of their head? A feeling that they cannot manage? After listening for a little while and formulating what they are trying to communicate, ask them if they would mind terribly if you interrupt them.

Can I tell you what I heard you say? When you interrupt, be ready to say something about what you hear them saying. Something simple and to the point, but if possible, something that reflects something positive about them.

A memory of a similar event, a similar feeling, a funny story—anything that gives you a chance to share your own experience but that you can tie to theirs.

Stop the conversation when it goes on too long.

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How to handle the person who talks too much



Dating guy talks too much

What makes these people tick? What can we do about them? And maybe more important, what can you do if you happen to be one of them? Talking is part of what we humans do. A number of my colleagues on PT have written about the difficulty some of us have either listening to others or to ourselves.

Ellis of Columbia University. It is also a tool in learning. Maybe this last part—that says the ability to process complex auditory signals is an important factor in our ability to learn—explains why it seems that so many people who talk at us have difficulty learning how to be more related. This is not to say that all people who talk incessantly are not deeply connected to others. But it does seem to make it difficult for them to recognize different moods and responses in their listeners.

Some people who talk a lot are not able to engage in this interactive rhythm, not because they do not care, but because they cannot tolerate the emotions that might emerge as they listen to another person. In fact, in the course of my work as a therapist, I have found that many non-stop talkers actually use their words to stop themselves from knowing what they are feeling. His wife was threatening to leave him because, she said, he did not care about or understand her.

Max talked his way through two sessions, almost without taking a breath, before I was able to interrupt him and ask how he was feeling. But many people, like Max, are overwhelmed by their own feelings and push them away by talking. Either way, these monologues are the opposite of the kind of story-telling exchange that Mankell describes, that bring us closer to other people.

And both of these kinds of talking make it hard for a person to learn to manage his or her feelings in another way. Here are five simple suggestions that might help: First, listen—but not for too long.

As you are listening, try to formulate for yourself what this person is trying to communicate: Is it a wish to be admired? A thought that they cannot get out of their head? A feeling that they cannot manage? After listening for a little while and formulating what they are trying to communicate, ask them if they would mind terribly if you interrupt them.

Can I tell you what I heard you say? When you interrupt, be ready to say something about what you hear them saying.

Something simple and to the point, but if possible, something that reflects something positive about them. A memory of a similar event, a similar feeling, a funny story—anything that gives you a chance to share your own experience but that you can tie to theirs. Stop the conversation when it goes on too long.

Dating guy talks too much

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3 Comments

  1. You follow the cadence of the other person's speech, and as it slows and I assure you it will, even with a monologuer , you begin speaking. If you meet one, hang in there and see what he's about. If you have a good teasing relationship, you can tease him when you bring the conversation around, otherwise just

  2. And most people assume that, if someone has broached a subject, that they will then be willing to share their own thoughts on the subject without requiring a subsequent obvious re-prompt It is also a tool in learning.

  3. When two women get together to talk, one starts out by asking questions and listening with interest. Can I tell you what I heard you say? If they respond well and let you talk, great!

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