Yes the Norwegian people also have some codes and mysteries surrounding seduction, and they will all be revealed to you now! I found out that the Norwegian art of seduction is based on three basic principles. The first one is eye contact. You might think, like me, that this guy is looking at you in a strange way. Is he stalking me? NO he is trying to seduce you with his hypnotising long eye-contact. If you are a Scandinavian woman you will look back, with a wink? And that is the start of something, I guess.
Men will rarely do more than that in their part of the Norwegian seduction process. It is only after some years in Norway that I realised that men do flirt in their own peculiar way in order not to do anything that might invade your private space. But sometimes they are even too shy to do that. If so go directly to principle number three: Scandinavian women work for it, whereas we sit there and bat our eyelashes.
They get active and invite men to dance and flirt openly whereas Southern women are taught to do these things subtly and discretely. You know, with a little style and dignity, not drunk with your fake tan getting off your face like I often saw in the UK. Although I see the benefits of women being like that, it is so foreign that I can only sweep and cry for all the Latin girls who never dare to do such things.
Mind you, a few French men I met were offered sudden one night stands by Danish or Norwegian women in bars or parties refused. They got quite angry of course this is second-hand information, I never experienced it myself. Some men actually like the chasing part, in our part of the world it is that which is called seduction. In more machist societies like France or Italy, such open flirting from a woman will be seen as an invitation for all the men in the neighboorhood.
Some men not all of course already flirt heavily when uninvitied, so imagine if you actively seek attention. What happens to women who grew up in such setting when they end up in Norway? Being used to be seduced for weeks and months by men, with flowers and travels and dreams come true? Well, too bad for you, wink back and get over it. Norwegian women are fearless. Which is good, I guess, when you think in terms of gender balance, feministic battles etc. Yes I am talking about alcohol. Most would say that the French also drink alcohol, and that is true obviously.
A drunk Dane once told me that being half drunk is a waste of money. Some philosophical standpoint to think about. It is 3am and everyone needs to leave because the bar is closing. This is the M moment for Norwegian couples in the making. What comes next is the infamous party-trilogy: Most of the time it ends there, after awkward morning-after-moments: Is this a real moose-head hanging on the wall staring at me? Then follows days, sometimes weeks of exchanging sms with more smileys than anyone can stand.
And then sometimes people hit it off and get together, and after many complicated commitments decide to call each other girlfriend and boyfriend. They might have kids, but rarely do they get married. There are more than codes, there are scenarios that repeat themselves over and over again every friday and saturday evening in the streets of Norwegian cities.
Or what if you are tired of meeting people for one night because now you are 35 and kind of over that. That does not involve alcohol or so I am told , but a lot of smileys still and long conversations through screens, which make it easier for shy Norwegian men and women to communicate with potential love-of-their-life without even having to pass out. More in a next blogpost: Want to read more on dating Norwegians?
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