Of course, the more you use OkCupid, the longer you leave it open, the more visitors you are likely to have.
My experiences with OkCupid in the past three years have been that, for every 10 message exchanges I get in to, I will go on a date with about 3 of them. Well, the logical thing would be to ask if they would like to meet up. It is recommended to make clear ahead of time whether it is a date or not. It is about sniffing someone out, putting pheromones to the photos, and getting a sense of potential chemistry.
From there you figure out if this is someone you want to date, to be friends with, or just never see again. When you are getting in to conversation with someone online, you could jump right to it and ask, after only a few exchanges, if they want to meet up. On the other hand, I am wary to ask someone to meet up right away in the first few messages. It can feel like too much pressure to some people. Also, how well do you know this person? For me, I really go on my instinct with this. Very often it is the first message that gives me that impulse of whether I want to meet them in person or not.
Regardless of what scheduling will allow, it is good to get clear with yourself about whether you want to have your Date Zero be in the daytime or evening, be something brief like coffee or something more committal like dinner. Casual, daytime, low committal, friendly. Can be rushed within a workday, but a good way to do something casual with plenty of opportunity to converse if not hurried.
Open ended, could conclude without too much fuss, could lead in to dinner. More time to relax and unwind and enjoy conversation. A party or club night, a movie or theater show- these things make it challenging to actually have a conversation. Some of the most fun Date Zeros I have had have involved some kind of refreshment- or gelato- and a walk along the waterfront or a nearby park if the weather is nice. With Date Zeros, I try to go in with as little attachment to expectations as possible.
A possible new friend! And the majority of people I have met from OkCupid are lovely, friendly, decent human beings, some of whom have gone on to become good friends. One of the most important conversations for me to have on any date-zero is to ascertain what Polyamory means for this person, and to share what being singleish and polyamorous means for me, i.
For me these usually include: What do you do for work, for fun, etc? What does your social life consist of? What kinds of relationships are you in now? What kinds of relationships are you looking for? Can I take you out for dinner? Can we hang out again? They can be powerful. If you feel the slightest glimmer of indecision about saying No to hanging out again, it is best to end with a maybe, and explore further- perhaps in a different setting and a different time of day.