First of all, chemistry is a misguided compass for whether something is good or bad for us. Which would you prefer, a green juice or Taco Bell [or fill in your favorite fast food]? More than likely, you would go for the fast food, right??
Every time you eat the tasty bite, you get instantly gratified, a sugar high, and that craving was fulfilled. Green juice is, well, necessary and healthy. This is chemistry, in a nut shell. I believe in sexual chemistry, and attraction. As modern women, we deserve to be with someone whom we connect with on every level — mental, emotional, spiritual AND physical. But I wager that for many of us, chemistry is not a reliable test. Here are some reasons: You may be wired for attracting a similar relationship like theirs.
Also, many women struggle with self-worth issues. Lastly, I want to bust the myth that people in relationships are sexually fulfilled and have loads of chemistry. Apparently, sexlessness in marriages is on a rise. First, take a deep breath. Your soulmate is on his way, I assure you. Here are some steps you can take to start attracting your man into your life — while changing your chemistry to WANTING a healthy, loving relationship: Find radical acceptance — for yourself — being single, finding dating challenging — and everything else going on in your life.
Begin starting your mornings with a minute meditation and gratitude for the things you have in your life right now — your home, family, body, career, the planet, anything! In fact, shift to gratitude whenever you start feeling low.
You can even be grateful for NOT being in a bad relationship. Practice a boat-load of Self Love. How can you offer yourself love and care, as a friend or parent would? How can you create a loving environment for your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being? The more connected you are with yourself, the more intimacy and connection you begin inviting into your life. You have to fill your own cup, and be your own best friend, beloved, soulmate. In my new online course Sacred Soulmate System, I share steps in how to practice mindfulness and Self Love in a sustainable way, which supports healthy love to begin flowing to you.
Get a hold of your pesky patterns and limiting beliefs — and begin to shift them. Do an assessment of your past relationships. What was common in those men? What are you still hurting from? Also, look at your relationship with your parents. In what way could it have scarred you? Be a master of your own sexuality and femininity: How can I start feeling more connected to what gives me joy and pleasure? Practice offering your reproductive organs some love and spend time pleasuring yourself.
Learn embodiment practices like yoga and sexy dancing. What is one thing that I would fight for — even die for? But I kept dating him because we shared values in honesty, meditation and serving our community. Start dating in a healthy, abundant, joyful way: Dating can be fun and even enchanting — if you shift your mindset to one of mindfulness, self love and abundance.
I always advise women to date several men — and give men 3—4 chances if they seem like kind, generous, stand-up guys. Sometimes we start sabotaging a perfectly good relationship due to our own Inner Blocks. So continue dating based on resonance and values — NOT on chemistry. Work through your own sabotage patterns.
Be kind and generous with men — just like how you would want to be treated. This way, you stay honest, open to possibilities and loving. How one woman nearly missed out on Mr. Right, due to chemistry… One of my clients, Fari, met an amazing man online.
But then I decided to give him a chance. But she kept meeting emotionally unavailable men. She continued dating for 6 months… and never gave up faith. She dated several men, and nothing seemed to pan out.
Then, out of the blue, on her birthday — her Soulmate appeared! This can happen with you, if you are committed to finding True Love within yourself — and attracting it into your life.