There is the world of online dating, which I will share my experiences with you at another time, you can meet someone by chance, or there is dating within the friend group and dating friends of friends. Over the past year the latter has been my method and I must admit I have mixed reviews. Dating friends of friends is a tricky situation.
On one hand it is great because you have common people and experiences to chat about and it takes away some of the nerves and fear. I dated two different guys who are friends with the same friend of mine and as much as I tried to not to involve him, it was inevitable. When you date someone close with your best friend you cannot help but go to your bestie with details or for advice because that is what we as friends do. It is especailly rough when the person caught in the middle is close with both members of the relationship.
They want both friends at their parties or to go to bars but if the couple is not on amicable terms then friends must make a choice and someone gets hurt even worse. In these situations you not only have to worry about getting dumped by the person you are dating, you may get dumped by your friend too. While in an ideal world we should be able to date whomever we want without it affecting those around us and our friends should be able to remain neutral, in the real world is just not so.
Friendships are relationships and such entanglements come with emotions. Ron and Sam live with their friends so when they are fighting, screaming, or having an all out brawl, their closest friends not only witness the chaos but become drawn into it as well.
It is difficult on the house mates because they are friends with both Ron and Sam. They love them as individudals but as a couple they are a disaster. I suppose that is on some level how one of my relationships was.
First off, I use the word relationship loosely since we were not dating but we were more than friends who had sex. However, there was some connection there that drew me to him instantly and it never really went away. I hurt everyday, wracking my brain as to how he could not feel the same for me…how he could not love me too. Now, since his friend and I are no longer speaking, he has to choose who goes to what event and feels uncomfortable having both of us at the same parties and occasions.
While I am an adult and can fully handle seeing this guy, it is still an unfair situation to put my friend in and after his chaotic birthday he wants to avoid future drama at all costs.
Dating within the friend group of course works out very well for some people but my advice is ultimately to proceed with caution. Yet, be wary that you may fall for him or it may hurt to see him hitting on other people, watch him marry someone else, or have him not feel the same for you as you do for him and all of these things can affect your mutual friends and your important interpersonal relationships. Was it worth it for me? Well the jury is still out because who knows what the future can bring.
Will I date a friend of a friend again?