Many of my dating coaching clients have questions about what to ask during the first phone call. They want to know how to quickly weed men out. What I have found over the past 10 years as a dating coach, and from my own journey to find my own husband, this can be trickier than you think. Here are five tips to help you have a great first phone call and hopefully get a first date too!
Make a good impression — the first phone call is a two way street Many women forget the first phone call is a two way street. While you have your detective work in mind, remember you also have to make a good first impression. That means you have to be friendly, warm AND pleasant. Your job is to create the desire within him to meet you by sharing your best self.
Be enjoyable — someone the guy would have fun spending time with. That could result fewer first dates. This often takes time. If you try to rush this, you risk turning men off. So, be realistic — there is only so much you can learn in a first phone call.
To really know if a man is right for you, most of the time you have to meet him. You need to discover if you connect, have chemistry and the most important hurdle — if he asks you out. My two matchmaker friends, Nicole of Compatibles and John of Tri-State Dating Service explain that phone interviews squash more potential matches than anything else.
Neither do women right? If you handle the first phone call like an interview and fire a series of tough personal questions at a man, he will get turned off. This is an unpleasant interaction that will not serve you in any dating situation. Because people need to build trust and earn the right to share such personal details.
The same is true for you. What can you ask? Listen to his voice. Does it appeal to you or make you feel nervous? Trust your intuition here and in all dating activities.
You are listening for red flags to keep yourself safe. In my 10 years of dating coaching, I have only had a couple of women tell me about a man who made them nervous. To determine if a man is worth dating, listen for his energy level and interest in you.
This is all valuable information to determine if a man could be a good match without drilling deep into why his wife left. You want to have something to talk about next time. Plus, you want to leave him thinking about you and curious to know more. In addition, there is a tremendous risk to a marathon phone call which can work against you — over sharing!
Women often get lulled into a sense of connection and then start sharing their problems which rings all his warning bells! Instead, end the call after minutes. January 15th, by Ronnie Ann Ryan.