Richard Nenoff , Gold star gay since ! Just look at my gym, which is just as much a cruising ground as it is a place to improve fitness. But that doesn't help answer your question. A know a lot of closeted guys around here like to use geo-location apps like Grindr and Scruff, though I'm sure there are more. Adam4Adam used to be a popular hookup site, I'm assuming it still is, and I've got a few friends who used Craigslist as well.
But I suspect you're interested more in dating than simply finding a guy to get off with, otherwise you would have just googled it. So, I've got some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is that I know guys who've met their boyfriends using all of the above sites and apps.
The bad news is that dating when you're in the closet is difficult and those who do it tend to experience a lot of rejection. The thing about the closet, as I'm sure you're well-aware, is that it's both stressful and constricting.
You may not even recognize how much it impacts your life because you've been closeted as long as you can remember, but take it from a guy who knows, once you come out, you'll see the toll that staying closeted cost you.
As hard as it is to keep such a secret, it's even worse to BE someone else's secret. It really fucks with your self-esteem. Because while you recognize that your closeted boyfriend doesn't want to jeopardize his relationship with his family, friends, and job, after a while you start wondering what's wrong with you.
If he loves you, why doesn't he want to tell anyone? And what if the relationship gets really serious? How far can it go? Will you ever move in together, and if you do, will you be "the roommate"? What happens when his parents pressure him to date?
Will he get a beard fake girlfriend? And can you really stand by and watch him fake date another person? You want to trust him, but in the back of your mind there's always the worry that he's not actually in love with you and will leave you for someone else. Because when people love each other, they want everyone to know. They want others to share in their happiness and know that you belong to each other, that you're both "off the market. You both have to pretend that you're single and available.
And when someone shows interest, you have to make up a lie or an excuse. And how long can you lie about yourself before it tears you apart? Dating a closeted guy is difficult. Too difficult for most. Your feedback is private.