I kissed dating goodbye online reading. I kissed dating goodbye. (Joshua Harris).



I kissed dating goodbye online reading

I kissed dating goodbye online reading

Share by E-Mail My first experience with a Christian dating book was less than positive. I was in college and at an InterVarsity Christian Fellowship retreat where the theme of the weekend was relationships.

My then-boyfriend and I wanted to extend the wisdom of the weekend so we bought a book there about dating to read together. But the results were disastrous. After telling us to view, treat, and honor people of the opposite sex as brothers and sisters in Christ a paradigm we could buy , The Green Book laid out a plan in which you don't really date, but find a best friend of the opposite sex by hanging out in groups.

According to the book, one-on-one relationships are a no-no, as is any kind of physical contact. And then only in well-lit public places. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating just a tad here!

Well, as you can imagine, my then-boyfriend and I already had a one-on-one relationship. And we'd not only held hands before betrothal, we'd actually kissed.

The more we read, the more guilty we felt. So what had started as a quest to honor God in our dating relationship, led only to an overwhelming sense of confusion and guilt for things we weren't quite sure why we should feel guilty. My next experience with a Christian dating book happened about a year ago.

This time I wasn't even the one who'd read the book. Finally one day when we were at one of those romantic outdoor concert venues having a picnic together, I asked what on earth this relationship was if it wasn't dating. I know many of you will disagree with me, but I'm not so sure "kissing dating goodbye" is a good idea.

Yes, I know we need to be careful with others' hearts. I understand it's difficult to remain pure in our sex-saturated society. And I've witnessed much harm and hurt accomplished in the name of dating. I'll even admit that for certain people and in certain situations non-dating is probably the best option, even God's best. But I also think that many times it's a cop out. I've seen these non-dating philosophies used as a way to escape responsibility and commitment. And mostly I've seen them used as a means of avoiding the hard work of following God in our day-to- day lives and relationships.

While dating can be wonderful and enriching, when it's done poorly it can also be painful and messy. So instead of learning to do it well, some would have us just not date altogether.

But I think that in avoiding this potentially messy part of life, we miss out on the chance to learn about and practice discipline, integrity, obedience, responsibility, seeking God's will, and following God's unique direction for each of our lives and relationships. I think the goal should be honoring God, not avoiding pain or responsibility. In my view, that's the only true source for healthy male-female relationships. Camerin Courtney Sign up for the Singles Newsletter and receive a new article from Camerin plus community updates in your inbox every other week!

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Strong Enough to Be Wrong



I kissed dating goodbye online reading

Share by E-Mail My first experience with a Christian dating book was less than positive. I was in college and at an InterVarsity Christian Fellowship retreat where the theme of the weekend was relationships.

My then-boyfriend and I wanted to extend the wisdom of the weekend so we bought a book there about dating to read together. But the results were disastrous. After telling us to view, treat, and honor people of the opposite sex as brothers and sisters in Christ a paradigm we could buy , The Green Book laid out a plan in which you don't really date, but find a best friend of the opposite sex by hanging out in groups. According to the book, one-on-one relationships are a no-no, as is any kind of physical contact.

And then only in well-lit public places. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating just a tad here! Well, as you can imagine, my then-boyfriend and I already had a one-on-one relationship. And we'd not only held hands before betrothal, we'd actually kissed. The more we read, the more guilty we felt. So what had started as a quest to honor God in our dating relationship, led only to an overwhelming sense of confusion and guilt for things we weren't quite sure why we should feel guilty.

My next experience with a Christian dating book happened about a year ago. This time I wasn't even the one who'd read the book. Finally one day when we were at one of those romantic outdoor concert venues having a picnic together, I asked what on earth this relationship was if it wasn't dating. I know many of you will disagree with me, but I'm not so sure "kissing dating goodbye" is a good idea.

Yes, I know we need to be careful with others' hearts. I understand it's difficult to remain pure in our sex-saturated society. And I've witnessed much harm and hurt accomplished in the name of dating. I'll even admit that for certain people and in certain situations non-dating is probably the best option, even God's best. But I also think that many times it's a cop out.

I've seen these non-dating philosophies used as a way to escape responsibility and commitment. And mostly I've seen them used as a means of avoiding the hard work of following God in our day-to- day lives and relationships. While dating can be wonderful and enriching, when it's done poorly it can also be painful and messy.

So instead of learning to do it well, some would have us just not date altogether. But I think that in avoiding this potentially messy part of life, we miss out on the chance to learn about and practice discipline, integrity, obedience, responsibility, seeking God's will, and following God's unique direction for each of our lives and relationships. I think the goal should be honoring God, not avoiding pain or responsibility. In my view, that's the only true source for healthy male-female relationships.

Camerin Courtney Sign up for the Singles Newsletter and receive a new article from Camerin plus community updates in your inbox every other week!

I kissed dating goodbye online reading

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5 Comments

  1. Marriage Before a couple marries, they should believe that it is the Will of God that they should marry. Be humble and honest about how you're trying to be obedient. I understand it's difficult to remain pure in our sex-saturated society.

  2. In Genesis 24, Rebekah was able to meet God's divine appointment for her life marriage because she was faithfully carrying out her current obligations.

  3. And your primary responsibility is to God. These qualities put her in the right place at the right time with the right attitude when God intended to match her with Isaac.

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