When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks! What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job! How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist! Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close his casket. What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? Whats long and hard and has cum in it? How do you kill a circus clown? Go for the juggler! Who was the worlds first carpenter? Eve, because she made Adams banana stand Q: Pepper come cum in a bottle? Because his wife died! If a dove is the "bird of peace" then what's the bird of "true love"? What do you call a cheap circumcision? How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an alter boy. Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards. Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is Q: What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? At least a zit waits until you're a teenager before it cums on your face! What does it mean when your boyfriend is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. Never mind, its too long. Never mind, you won't get it. How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them Q: What do you call 2 guys fighting over a slut?
If the world is a Jacket where do poor people live? What's the cure for marriage? What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection? A Quarter Ponder with Cheese. Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck on his cock! Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korean long-range missiles can't go that far. What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?
Kermit the frogs finger Q: What's a porn star's favorite drink? What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball! What do preists and Mcdonalds have in common? They both stick there meat in 10 year old buns Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 9 black guys?
Why can't Jesus play hockey? He keeps getting nailed to the boards. How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw. Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because their plugged into a genius! What do you call an artist with a brown finger? Did you guys hear about the cannibal that made a bunch of businessmen into Chili? I guess he liked seasoned professionals.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering A minor. Three words to ruin a man's ego? What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian How many is a brazilian? Why don't black people go on cruises? They already fell for that trick once. A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.
What has got two legs and bleeds? What do you call an afghan virgin A: Mever bin laid on Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork. What do you call a party with midgets? A little get together. What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E. Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent Q: Why did God give men penises?
So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A: What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber. What did the elephant say to a naked man? Hey that's cute but can you breath through it? Did you hear about the celebrity murderer? He was shooting for the stars. What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
Why did Tigger look in the toilet? Because he was looking for Pooh If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?