Jay Hurt - 16 Jan '14 Relationships Share this article! Decisions like this have to be a topic of conversation in the relationship.
Dating is Not Forever There are a small percentage of people who have no interest in marriage and will date infinitely. Pertaining to the rest of us, dating has an expiration date. Dating is an opportunity for me to learn as much as possible about my woman. As a man, I have a responsibility to let my woman know and let her family know what my intentions are if we are serious.
The timetable is different for each relationship. What we have to consider is if a woman makes it clear she wants to be married and our relationship has grown to that level, she deserves a man who values her enough to marry her, or appreciates her enough to let her go find someone that will.
If we are truly selfless, we will think of her needs and desires above ours and either give her what she expects and deserves or allow her to be free to get those needs met elsewhere. Dating is a means to an end, not a synonym for an indentured servant or concubine.
If she wants to get married, make it happen or keep it moving. What is Your Timetable? I know a couple who dated for 10 years, had children and never got married. I also know a couple, who dated 14 years, has 2 children and did not marry. The woman in each relationship wanted to be married. They lived as though they were married, so there was nothing to make either man interested in changing his circumstances. They looked at marriage as a detriment to their lives, not an asset.
Our time is finite, so we need to respect our own time and desires as such. If you set a parameter to see progress in the relationship, stick to it. Once you have made a decision on what you want and you have a conversation around where the relationship is headed, you have to be willing to move forward in or out of that relationship. The parameter is fair and you are giving your mate time to make a decision. Is five years too long? Is nine months too long?
Some people would say you can figure out if a relationship is going to work in six months. We have to communicate where we stand in the relationship and where we want to see it go. If things are going as planned, you will find your timetable is perfect for you. BMWK — How long is too long to date someone when you want to get married?
About the author Jay Hurt wrote 85 articles on this blog.