Kasandra Brabaw Photographed by Caroline Tompkins. It's and just about everyone is using online dating apps, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. So why are all of the most popular apps still designed with only straight people in mind?
By it's very premise, which requires the woman in a match to send the first message, Bumble assumes that its users are straight. And as a lesbian woman who's spent a fair amount of time on both Tinder and OkCupid, I can tell you that the apps aren't great at weeding out men who don't belong sorry for the immediate swipe left, Scott, Todd, and John, but I don't know how you got here.
Advertisement Of course, that doesn't mean that queer women have to stick to meeting a new love interest in lesbian bars which are dying, anyway. All it takes is knowing the best ones to download and how to work with them. Ahead, we've rounded up some of the best apps for queer ladies looking for love or hookups online. The app makes users choose a gendered emoji red lips for women and mustaches for men both for themselves and for the gender they're interested in.
At first, it wasn't possible for bisexual people to choose both the mustache and the lips , but Coffee Meets Bagel changed that in the last couple years. Now, CMB at least admits that bisexual people exist. Once you're on the app, though, it's similar to other swipe-left or right dating apps, with the exception that CMB will send you one high-quality match or "bagel" per day.
You choose "pass" or "like" and then a chat window opens for 7 days. If you know plenty of queer women, that can be great. Chances are good that your queer friends have other queer friends who could become your new girlfriend or at least a hookup. But just know that if you're connected mostly to straight people who have straight friends, then your Hinge pool might be filled with a few less fish.
Advertisement Fem You won't run into profiles for men who don't belong on Fem. This is a dating app "geared for lesbians and people who are interested in meeting lesbians.
Fem is slightly different from other apps in that it encourages users to create video profiles instead of just uploading photos, and it also allows for group chats.
If you're too shy for a video, don't worry. It's not mandatory to make a video profile, and plenty of people use Fem like they would any other dating app — by uploading their best selfies. Although it's known as a lesbian app and "her" implies women , HER is actually a good space for both cisgender and non-binary people looking to meet other queer women or non-binary people.
It's different from traditional dating apps in that it also allows users to create a social media-like presence through profiles and suggests queer events users can go to in their area to meet people IRL. But online dating is partially a numbers game and the fact is that Tinder is one of the most popular dating apps out there. Just a few months after I finally swallowed my pride and created a profile, I went on my first date with the woman who's now my girlfriend.
I guess that's karma for you. So if you're only looking for women, it's worth the thumb energy it'll take to swipe past all the unnecessary dudes who pop up on the way to your dream girl. The "rule" that women send the first message obviously doesn't apply to a woman-woman match, but there's one more Bumble "rule" that makes it slightly different than other dating apps: Bumble requires users to send a message within the first 24 hours. So Bumble is a good option for anyone who needs the motivation to actually say something to their matches you know who you are.
Because OkCupid has more extensive user profiles than apps like Tinder or Bumble, it's also good for anyone who's looking to connect over more than just a pretty face.