What kinds of things let a psychopath know you might be an easy target simply by watching you walk down the street or by having a short interaction with you? Stressful life events create a general demeanor of vulnerability — which the psychopath sees as weakness and neediness — that reveals itself through mannerisms and subtle signals like the way you walk, your posture, your facial expressions, the amount of eye contact you make, and the tone of your voice.
What can you do? I like who you are. Your secrets are safe with me. To the vulnerable person the psychopath seems to be exactly what they need, so they happily take the bait. They believe their deepest desires have been fulfilled and their problems have been solved.
Actually, their problems are just beginning. Psychopaths have a relentless need for self-gratification. They know exactly what your needs are, and they have the ability to put on whatever mask persona is necessary to get what they want from you.
The psychopath gives you a delicious taste of what you need, which gives him great power over you. Having needs is normal. For example, as humans we need love. That only becomes a problem when we believe there is only one person who can fulfill that need, one perfect partner who seems like our soul mate, who seems to know exactly what we lack and who seems to provide it so well.
It only looked that way. They feel they have a right to victimize vulnerable people because they see them as weak or even worthless. They gain your trust and love only to gain control over you to get what they want. By knowing your own vulnerabilities, you can become aware of possible attempts at exploitation. Take the time now to learn your vulnerabilities; it can help you to prevent victimization.
I recommend the excellent book by Harriet Braiker, PhD. Some good defenses against a destructive relationship with a psychopath are these: I was really glad I bought it. How I wish I would have read this book years ago. Well written, clear, and concise. So thankful I came across this quick, but powerful read.
I so appreciate the wisdom I found in this writing. I feel empowered once more! Easily rated at 5 stars.