They want it, they want more of it, they talk about it, fantasize about it, buy it, take it, and might even become a bit obsessed about it. Oddly enough, the equivalent for women is food. Of course, not every man and woman falls neatly into these categories, if at all. But to ignore these powerful connections that occur across a wide expanse guys and gals would be a missed opportunity.
From a standpoint of culture and how it influences male and female, I believe a useful distinction is this: For men, value is often given in who they are, how much cash they make, and how much power they wield. Guys who have the money and the position are seen as hot commodities and sought after by the fairer sex. And indeed, they are often rewarded for a having a healthy bank account by receiving actual sex. For the women of the world that our culture reduces to sex objects, food becomes extra important.
Well, the more food you eat, the fatter you may become, and the fatter you are, the less value you have as a sex object, which means the less likely you are to receive the attention of men, which means the less chance you will have of finding real love, commitment and partnership. Or so the underlying thinking goes. Have you noticed how so many women will juggle their food intake, exercise amount, fat grams, desserts, and do everything to regulate their appetite — all with the intent to manage the dreaded possibility of body fat?
The hidden side of feminine culture, of the inner life of women and girls, is a powerful and intense struggle to conform to some arbitrary standard of slenderness. The result is a host of unwanted behaviors, such as under eating, which leads to overeating and binge-eating, bulimia, compulsive eating, as well as chronic dieting, which often leads to nutrient deficiency, fatigue, mood swings, brain fog, low immunity, depression, and oddly enough, weight gain.
I believe a first step is simply a compassionate understanding and acknowledgment of these dynamics. For women, their special connection to food seems inborn — they grow and feed babies in the womb, and naturally nourish them when they pop out into the world. Women and food are timelessly and genetically and perhaps even spiritually linked.
What a beautiful thing. Perhaps a second step is to notice our own minds, our judgments of others, our self- judgments, and begin to take responsibility for what we believe. And as best we can, why not tone down the intensity at which we broadcast old and outdated ways of seeing each other. What would happen if our life force was directed not towards our invented shortcomings, but our sweetest potential? I think the men of the world would naturally feel more powerful and less needy for sex, and the women of the world would feel a profound sense of nourishment, and would happily eat as they please.