Wesp created the Usenet newsgroup alt. No single definition of "polyamory" has universal acceptance, with the Oxford English Dictionary having widely divergent definitions for the word for the UK and US versions   . The practice of engaging in closed polyamorous relationships is sometimes called[ according to whom? The terms primary or primary relationship s and secondary or secondary relationship s may be used[ when? Thus, a person may refer to a live-in partner as their primary partner, and a lover whom they only see once a week as their secondary partner, in order to differentiate to the listener who is who.
While such labels can be used as a tool to manage multiple relationships[ according to whom? Another model, sometimes referred to[ according to whom?
Within this model, a hierarchy may be fluid and vague, or nonexistent. As well, swingers occasionally develop deep emotional attachments with their sexual friends. Swingers and polyamorous people alike might engage in secret infidelities, though this is no more acceptable than in monogamy.
On August 29, , the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood released a manifesto on human sexuality known as the "Nashville Statement". The statement was signed by evangelical leaders, and includes 14 points of belief.
Satanists are pluralists, accepting polyamorists, bisexuals, lesbians, gays, BDSM, transgender people, and asexuals. Sex is viewed as an indulgence, but one that should only be freely entered into with consent.
The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth only give two instructions regarding sex: This has always been consistent part of CoS policy since its inception in , as Peter H. Gillmore wrote in an essay supporting same-sex marriage: Finally, since certain people try to suggest that our attitude on sexuality is "anything goes" despite our stated base principle of "responsibility to the responsible", we must reiterate another fundamental dictate: The Church of Satan's philosophy strictly forbids sexual activity with children as well as with non-human animals.
Gilmore  Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness , founded in , has engaged in ongoing education and advocacy for greater understanding and acceptance of polyamory within the Unitarian Universalist Association.
Start of polyamory contingent at San Francisco Pride Bigamy is the act of marrying one person while already being married to another, and is legally prohibited in most countries in which monogamy is the cultural norm.
Some bigamy statutes are broad enough to potentially encompass polyamorous relationships involving cohabitation , even if none of the participants claim marriage to more than one partner. In most countries, it is legal for three or more people to form and share a sexual relationship subject sometimes to laws against homosexuality or adultery if two of the three are married.
With only minor exceptions no developed countries permit marriage among more than two people, nor do the majority of countries give legal protection e. Individuals involved in polyamorous relationships are generally considered by the law to be no different from people who live together, or "date", under other circumstances. Accordingly, they include parallel entitlements, obligations, and limitations. Both are banned under Sections — of the Crimes Act In jurisdictions where same-sex marriage proper exists, bigamous same-sex marriages fall under the same set of legal prohibitions as bigamous heterosexual marriages.
As yet, there is no case law applicable to these issues. In jurisdictions where civil unions or registered partnerships are recognized, the same principle applies to divorce in those contexts. There are exceptions to this: Some states were prompted to review their laws criminalizing consensual sexual activity in the wake of the Supreme Court's ruling in Lawrence v. At present, the extension to multiple-partner relationships of laws that use a criterion similar to that adopted in the UK , i.
That is, it is not known whether these laws could treat some trios or larger groups as common-law marriages. If marriage is intended, most countries provide for both a religious marriage and a civil ceremony sometimes combined.
These recognize and formalize the relationship. Few Western countries give either religious or legal recognition — or permission — to marriages with three or more partners.
While a recent case in the Netherlands was commonly read as demonstrating that Dutch law permitted multiple-partner civil unions ,  the relationship in question was a samenlevingscontract , or "cohabitation contract", and not a registered partnership or marriage. A detailed legal theory of polyamorous marriage is being developed.
And some legal scholars believe that the US constitutional rights of Due Process and Equal Protection fully support marriage rights for polyamorous families. Please help to create a more balanced presentation. Discuss and resolve this issue before removing this message.
Bennett responded by saying that her party is "open" to discussion on the idea of civil partnership or marriages between three people. Values within polyamory Fidelity and loyalty: Many[ quantify ] polyamorists define fidelity not as sexual exclusivity, but as faithfulness to the promises and agreements made about a relationship. As a relational practice, polyamory sustains a vast variety of open relationship or multi-partner constellations, which can differ in definition and grades of intensity, closeness and commitment.
Polyamorists generally base definitions of commitment on considerations other than sexual exclusivity, e. Because there is no "standard model" for polyamorous relationships, and reliance upon common expectations may not be realistic, polyamorists often[ how often? Polyamorists will usually take a pragmatic approach to their relationships; many accept that sometimes they and their partners will make mistakes and fail to live up to these ideals, and that communication is important for repairing any breaches.
Poly relationships often[ when? Sometimes, couples first expanding an existing monogamous relationship into a polyamorous one, may adhere to gender-specific boundaries, such as when a wife agrees not to engage sexually with another male at her husband's request, but may be allowed to have romantic and sexual relationships with women.
Such terms and boundaries are negotiable, and such asymmetric degrees of freedom among the partners who need not be of different genders are often due to individual differences and needs, and may be understood to be temporary within a negotiated time frame, until further opening up of the relationship becomes practicable or easier for the parties to handle emotionally.
It is usually preferred or encouraged that a polyamorist strive to view their partners' other significant others often referred to as OSOs[ by whom?
Therefore, jealousy and possessiveness are generally viewed not so much as something to avoid or structure the relationships around, but as responses that should be explored, understood, and resolved within each individual, with compersion as a goal. Emotional support and structure from other committed adults within the familial unit.
A wider range of adult experience, skills, resources, and perspective. Support for companionate marriages, which can be satisfying even if no longer sexually vital, since romantic needs are met elsewhere. This acts to preserve existing relationships. Conversely, polyamory offers release from the monogamist expectation that one person must meet all of an individual's needs sex, emotional support, primary friendship, intellectual stimulation, companionship, social presentation.
Custody ramifications[ edit ] In , a Tennessee court granted guardianship of a child to her grandmother and step-grandfather after the child's mother April Divilbiss and partners outed themselves as polyamorous on MTV. After contesting the decision for two years, Divilbiss eventually agreed to relinquish her daughter, acknowledging that she was unable to adequately care for her child and that this, rather than her polyamory, had been the grandparents' real motivation in seeking custody.
Mudita Compersion or, in Britain, frubble   is an empathetic state of happiness and joy experienced when another individual experiences happiness and joy, and by members of the polyamory community[ when defined as?
It is used[ according to whom? Sometimes called the opposite or flip side of jealousy. Compersion does not specifically refer to joy regarding the sexual activity of one's partner, but refers instead to joy at the relationship with another romantic or sexual partner. It's analogous to the joy parents feel when their children get married, or to the happiness felt between best friends when they find a partner. In , Marriage and Morals , written by the philosopher , mathematician , and Nobel Prize winner Bertrand Russell , questioned the contemporary notions of morality regarding monogamy in sex and marriage; John Dewey spoke out against this treatment.
Jim Fleckenstein, director of the Institute for 21st-Century Relationships, is quoted as stating that the polyamory movement has been driven not only by science fiction, but also by feminism: The longing for community is associated with a felt need for the richness of "complex and deep relationships through extended networks" in response to the replacement and fragmentation of the extended family by nuclear families.
As a result, many of us are striving to create complex and deep relationships through extended networks of multiple lovers and extended families Polys agree that some people are monogamous by nature.
But some of us are not, and more and more are refusing to be shoehorned into monogamy. It seems weird that having affairs is OK but being upfront about it is rocking the boat. While openly polyamorous relationships are relatively rare Rubin, , there are indications that private polyamorous arrangements within relationships are actually quite common. The first sample was of exclusively monogamous individuals who were not told the nature of what was being studied, and found that those with high attachment avoidance[ jargon ] tended to view CNM more positively as well as being more willing to engage in it but had not actually engaged in it.
The authors theorized this was "because these relationships promote distance from their partners and support their accepting attitudes toward uncommitted and casual sex". Individuals with high attachment anxiety tended to view CNM negatively, but no correlation was found regarding willingness to engage in it. The second sample was a targeted recruitment of individuals currently engaged in CNM relationships.
This sample showed low levels of attachment avoidance, and no correlation related to attachment anxiety. The lack of correlation with anxiety in either sample with regards to willingness or actual engagement suggested it may have little impact on the matter.
The large disparity in attachment avoidance between those willing to engage in CNM and those that actually engage in it could not be fully explained within the context of the study, but the authors offer several hypotheses.
Why is it important that we talk about alternatives to monogamy now? How can therapists prepare to work with people who are exploring polyamory? What basic understandings about polyamory are needed? What key issues do therapists need to watch for in the course of working with polyamorous clients? Its conclusions, summarized,[ according to whom? The paper also states that the configurations a therapist would be "most likely to see in practice" are individuals involved in primary-plus arrangements, monogamous couples wishing to explore non-monogamy for the first time, and "poly singles".
The couple has an established reservoir of good will. There is a minimum of lingering resentments from past hurts and betrayals. The partners are feeling similarly powerful and autonomous. Green and Mitchell stated that direct discussion of the following issues can provide the basis for honest and important conversations: According to Shernoff,  if the matter is discussed with a third party, such as a therapist, the task of the therapist is to engage couples in conversations that let them decide for themselves whether sexual exclusivity or nonexclusivity is functional or dysfunctional for the relationship.
Criticisms[ edit ] Difficulty conducting research[ edit ] The complex nature of polyamory presents difficulties in structuring research into the stability of polyamorous relationships. For instance, polyamorists may be reluctant to disclose their relationship status due to potential negative consequences, and researchers may be unfamiliar with the full range of polyamorous behaviours, leading to poorly framed questions that give misleading results.
These include a parrot a pun, as "Polly" is a common name for domesticated parrots    and the infinity heart. The "infinity heart" symbol has appeared on pins, T-shirts, bumper stickers and other media. In the center of the flag is a gold Greek lowercase letter 'pi', as the first letter of 'polyamory'.
Gold represents "the value that we place on the emotional attachment to others