Married man has gay sex. You Don’t Realize It, but Your Wife Is Googling Whether or Not You’re Gay.



Married man has gay sex

Married man has gay sex

One is that more gay men are in the closet than we probably realize, but another is that married women are very worried that their husbands might be gay.

What is going on here? In an interview at Vox with author and former Google data scientist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, Sean Illing asks him to help make sense of this data.

Seth Stephens-Davidowitz The number one question that women have about their husbands is whether he is gay. And these questions are much higher in the Deep South, where my research suggests there are indeed more gay men married to women. Sean Illing Do you think women are justified in their curiosity here? Is this a question they should be asking more often? Women are eight times more likely to ask Google if their husband is gay than if he is an alcoholic and 10 times more likely to ask Google if their husband is gay than if he is depressed.

It is far more likely that a woman is married to a man who is secretly an alcoholic or secretly depressed than secretly gay. For starters, Stephens-Davidowitz says by his calculations, about 5 percent of men in the U. As a woman who grew up in the deep South, I have twice wondered whether previous boyfriends were gay though I never admitted it to them.

In other words, men who were more sensitive and less afraid to admit such things seemed suspect, when perhaps it should have been the other way around. The men in question were not homophobic at all, but more at ease discussing masculinity and sexuality. This is ironic, of course — here were men who were just more comfortable with their sexuality and masculinity, but I had been so sheltered that I interpreted it as potentially gay.

I can only say in my defense that I was in my teens and early 20 and I would eventually realize through gender studies and greater exposure to diverse thinking that gender roles oppress men as well as women, albeit in different ways.

But I have to wonder what other women might be thinking. According to a post on mental health resource site My Healthy Place, some 4 million women are or have been married to gay men. But back to the Google data. There are likely a few reasons why women might live in fear of this revelation, but they are layered in a lot of stereotypes about masculinity and male sexuality. Those women suffer horribly trying to retroactively piece together what their relationship meant and what their futures hold.

The Netflix show Grace and Frankie is one such depiction. The anger is not rooted in homophobia — many of the women in such situations are LBGT allies. Women may also realize that coming out is complicated , and in many instances, more difficult for men, whose masculinity and sexuality is policed with far greater force. LGBTQ Nation wrote recently about the fact that society still seems far more comfortable with lesbians than gay men, and that violence toward gay men is still more frequent.

While none of this answers definitively for us why so many married women might live in fear that their husbands are gay, it points to one main truth: We still misunderstand male sexuality.

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Married man has gay sex

One is that more gay men are in the closet than we probably realize, but another is that married women are very worried that their husbands might be gay. What is going on here? In an interview at Vox with author and former Google data scientist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, Sean Illing asks him to help make sense of this data. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz The number one question that women have about their husbands is whether he is gay. And these questions are much higher in the Deep South, where my research suggests there are indeed more gay men married to women.

Sean Illing Do you think women are justified in their curiosity here? Is this a question they should be asking more often? Women are eight times more likely to ask Google if their husband is gay than if he is an alcoholic and 10 times more likely to ask Google if their husband is gay than if he is depressed. It is far more likely that a woman is married to a man who is secretly an alcoholic or secretly depressed than secretly gay.

For starters, Stephens-Davidowitz says by his calculations, about 5 percent of men in the U. As a woman who grew up in the deep South, I have twice wondered whether previous boyfriends were gay though I never admitted it to them. In other words, men who were more sensitive and less afraid to admit such things seemed suspect, when perhaps it should have been the other way around.

The men in question were not homophobic at all, but more at ease discussing masculinity and sexuality. This is ironic, of course — here were men who were just more comfortable with their sexuality and masculinity, but I had been so sheltered that I interpreted it as potentially gay.

I can only say in my defense that I was in my teens and early 20 and I would eventually realize through gender studies and greater exposure to diverse thinking that gender roles oppress men as well as women, albeit in different ways.

But I have to wonder what other women might be thinking. According to a post on mental health resource site My Healthy Place, some 4 million women are or have been married to gay men.

But back to the Google data. There are likely a few reasons why women might live in fear of this revelation, but they are layered in a lot of stereotypes about masculinity and male sexuality. Those women suffer horribly trying to retroactively piece together what their relationship meant and what their futures hold. The Netflix show Grace and Frankie is one such depiction. The anger is not rooted in homophobia — many of the women in such situations are LBGT allies.

Women may also realize that coming out is complicated , and in many instances, more difficult for men, whose masculinity and sexuality is policed with far greater force.

LGBTQ Nation wrote recently about the fact that society still seems far more comfortable with lesbians than gay men, and that violence toward gay men is still more frequent. While none of this answers definitively for us why so many married women might live in fear that their husbands are gay, it points to one main truth: We still misunderstand male sexuality.

Married man has gay sex

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2 Comments

  1. Guys know what other guys are like. In media[ edit ] The theme of mixed-orientation marriages in literature dates back at least to with the publication of A Marriage Below Zero by Alfred J. Sexual relationship disorder A person who is either in a mixed-orientation marriage or wishes to enter into one may go to therapy or support groups to deal with issues involved in that type of marriage.

  2. He gave no excuse or defense for having wronged her. Those women suffer horribly trying to retroactively piece together what their relationship meant and what their futures hold. These are his issues, not hers, even though they can and usually do affect her and her relationship rather profoundly.

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