Sex while sleeping Hello Dr. Chaves, My boyfriend and I have encountered an impasse in our sex life. Recently, he revealed he has a secret fantasy that he would like to live out with me. He told me that he wants to have sex with me while I am asleep. At first, I was mortified at this request and thought he had a secret rape fascination. But, in looking it up on the internet, I found that other people have expressed a similar desire.
Is his fantasy normal and what do you think I should do about it? Thank you, Felicia, MA You should do whatever your heart desires. His request may be uncommon, but you have to give him some credit for opening up to you and trusting you with his sex fantasies.
Keep in mind, this is different from sexsomnia, where a person is asleep and unknowingly engages in sexual play with a sleeping partner. Getting back to sex while sleeping, some may argue this is coercive, but I disagree if couples communicate beforehand.
Some who engage in this behavior will set up rules, boundaries and limits while discussing what happens afterward. Sleep sex play is definitely for those who have a profound sense of trust, safety and comfort with their partner — not to mention a kinky streak. Some love to try to make their partner orgasm while they sleep, and get off when they accomplish this.
And yes, both men and woman can orgasm while they sleep. In the end, I think you should talk to your partner about your comforts and fears and see if sleep sex is right for you. Sex after trauma Hi Dr. Chaves, Three months ago, my dad passed away. He was a good father and I cared for him very much. But getting to my question, I think his death is affecting me. I rarely masturbate anymore or have sex with my girlfriend. She was really supportive and great, but recently she has gotten moody and made comments about us not having sex and being sexual together.
Any suggestions on how I can get more sexual with her? Thanks, Simon, GA Sorry about your dad. I have a lot of empathy for your situation because it sounds like it is affecting you deeply. Many people experience sexual side effects in response to trauma, depression or anxiety. A loved one passing can impact our psyche and lead to depressive symptoms sleep changes, loss of interest, sadness, energy changes, etc.
But I can recommend and encourage you to talk about your suffering with friends, family and a professional. Men are more likely than women to bottle up the emotions and internalize their feelings in response to trauma, sexual difficulties and mental health struggles. Not only will that help with your grief, it will likely have a positive effect on your sexual concerns as well. Read on discover the secret to making her orgasm