Where to find one: Any independent or used bookstore in a trendy neighborhood on a Friday night. Ask them about Rilke, social justice, chai tea.
ENFJ- Why you want one: At a party they are hosting for their friends in their home. Ask to help, compliment how much fun everyone is having. Tell them some juicy gossip. Try not to feel bad when they have to give attention to all the other plebey party guests. ESTP- Why you want one: Know Jeremy Piven in Entourage? Sometimes it just feels good to be around an asshole.
Maybe the easiest to pickup, just try to look good and get in their line of vision. Not really sure you do? Buying tax prep software at Best Buy? On a long solo walk in the woods? Is anyone really interested in this? ESTJ- Why you want one: Might be a more reliable fuck buddy than an ESTP. Kind of boring, possibly sexually attracted to day planners. Out with their friends, policing the fun. Make a really boring and unnecessary statement about the progress of the night.
ENFP- Why you want one: Passionate, unpredictable, absolutely always interesting. Not loyal to people or ideologies. This applies to their romantic life. The clubbiest of clubs, in the middle of the dancefloor, possibly on X. Wear some bright colors, talk about how you bathed in the Ganges to get salvation, give them drugs, promise to get tantric. Beware of passionate yet very sloppy kisses. INFP- Why you want one: May suffocate you with intensity.
Getting existential at some dive bar with a small but intense looking group of people who all look remotely like someone who used to babysit you. ESFP- Why you want one: They are only ever motivated by what will get them the most amounts of attention possible.
Challenge them to a game. Preferably fetch, as there is no distinguishable difference between an ESFP and a labrador retriever. ISFP- Why you want one: Hanging with their one bro at a bar, probably not talking but smiling and and genuinely enjoying themselves.
INTP- Why you want one: Probable addiction to World of Warcraft. ENTP- Why you want one: Out with their friends at a bar they take issue with for one reason or another cf: Intersperse non-sequitor jokes and puns with douchey statements like 'Thomas Pynchon is the only funny postmoderist. Home alone, reading something really interesting, generally not giving a fuck. ENTJ- Why you want one: Loud talkers, stubborn, make black-and-white decisions.
At a weird event with their friends. Make aggressive but smart statements. Use historical examples but also throw in something about Aqua Teen Hunger Force. ESFJ- Why you want one: Literally your standard bro or prototypical 'wife material. And not in the brooding, artsy way, in the self-righteous way.