He will never forgive you if his friends label you fake geek girl. Accept his friends Nerdy guys will have nerdy friends. Most guys, nerdy or not, consider their friends to be an extension of themselves. Any perceived rejection of his friends will be taken personally.
Understand and accept their unique tastes, take some interest in what they love doing and genuinely share in their passions and concerns. He will understand you not spending every weekend together with his friends; what will hurt your relationship is if you blow-off his buddies as a bunch of boring nerds. Be sexually forward More than most men, nerds don't respond to subtle hints.
Often they genuinely don't read your body language. Or they do get the signal, but lack the confidence to follow through. But physically drag him away from Github and he'll soon forget about debugging his code, and prove to you that nerds really do make the best lovers. Find common ground For a relationship of any kind to work, you have to find a common ground; a hobby, interest or activity that allows you to spend quality time together.
There are plenty of things that both of you will love. Even if your tastes in literature don't greatly overlap, he will love to hear your thoughts on your current novel. Show him your nerdy side the one you hide from your girl-friends. He respects passion, intelligence and excellence in any field.
Try him out with some activity that gets you fired up. You might be surprised how interested he becomes in the finer aspects of choux pastry making! The problem with emotions In their passion for fact and truth, nerdy men can run right over other people's emotions. Annoyingly, you can't treat their own feelings the same way. One thing common with nerdy guys is that they disregard or even mistrust feelings. Even more than other types of men, they will keep their emotions closed up.
If he does open up to you, it means that he really values your friendship and is ready to get more serious with the relationship. The worst mistake you can do at this point is to ignore or laugh off his feelings. You will have killed any chance of forming a strong emotional connection with him.
On the same note, do not be frustrated if he takes a while to open up to you. It will take time, support and understanding. Be ready to teach him Most nerds will be really good in a single area such as movies, physics, astronomy or tech.
With this time-consuming focus comes the corresponding ignorance of many other topics that a "normal" person would be good at, such as pop culture, politics and social manners. This may sound surprising but you may have to do a lot of explaining and teaching when you are together. Buy this for the geek in your life: Do not get frustrated or laugh off his ignorance on these subjects. Instead, take it as a growth opportunity. You learn about his main interest and he learns about a multitude of other topics.
There will come a time when he will be as good as you at some of these things. For now, be the gentle loving explainer. Know how to handle conflicts Dating a nerd is just like dating any other guy in that conflict is bound to arise. You have to be ready to handle these conflicts in the right way. Remember that nerds tend to be more logical than emotional. There's an overlap with nerdism and autism spectrum.
Getting overly emotional or dramatic during an argument will not help matters. You will almost certainly have a much higher Emotional Intelligence than he does; use it!
We're all the same The biggest problem with nerd stereotypes is that they cast nerdy guys as some sort of aliens, who have weird habits and tastes. But a geek is not much different from any other guy; they just have different strengths and weaknesses. The same rules that apply in a non-nerdy relationship - respect, understanding, love - will also apply in a nerdy one.
And if you are worried your guy jock, geek, hipster, whatever is losing interest, check out my free ebook: Why Men Lose Interest.