Meet, have a date or two, end up in bed, then end up together. I can't even really tell you when exactly the together part happened, it just was. So it was for many years: Then, after a long hiatus from all things testosterone, I decided to dip my foot back into the dating pool. He wanted to take things slow, get to know me, actually date me and see where, if anywhere, we ended up. Now while my hormones were screaming bloody murder, my mind had to agree.
I wanted a different ending to my story this go around and since no man before him even took the time to approach me in this manner, I figured it was worth a shot. So here we are in the middle. Not quite friends, but not in a relationship. No mindless rush to be together.
Just us actually taking the time to learn one another and truly date. I must admit this space is very new and very awkward. This middle space has allowed us to intentionally build emotional, intellectual, and even physical intimacy with one another through the simplest things. We have actual conversations, not conversations laced with flirtation and sexual innuendo, but actual conversations that allow us to see one another without filters.
Conversations that show how multifaceted we both are and slowly let down guards. Instead of sharing nude pics, we share goals, dreams and struggles. Despite a busy schedule, he will trek all the way from Brooklyn to Harlem NYC peeps know this is basically equivalent to a long distance relationship just to cuddle on the couch thumb wrestling, laughing and watching movies with me for a few hours.
Long hugs and sweet kisses, hand holding and couch cuddles, and of course the thumb wrestling. It requires patience, stripped bare honesty and trust, with generous heaps of vulnerability. This path also comes with never ending smiles, laughs and the pleasure of getting to know someone that has truly been an unexpected, but welcome addition to my world.