No, I am not claiming to have dated a lot in Mexico, but nevertheless, I have got some insights about life in Mexico during my little extended stay there, that lasted for 21 years.
And I have successfully dated one special Mexican woman, dating that ended in marriage - that is lasting up to this date. Mexico is a big place with lots of people. And Mexico is more diverse than the U. So if your girlfriend comes from -say - rural Oaxaca, her expectations towards a boyfriend and her outlook on life as a whole are way different than those of a young woman of a wealthy family of entrepreneurs in Monterrey up in the North.
Social differences are abysmal in Mexico, you have from the extremely poor to the fantastically rich every level - and often these people do not interact too much.
But some things are common in Mexican society. Family life really is very important. Not only the immediate family, father, mother and your future brother and sisters in law. No, family always means extended family. And their influence on your girlfriend most likely is going to be big and long lasting. You as a newcomer will not change their ways and means and neither should you try, but you can influence your girlfriend.
When dealing with extended family, do not try to lecture them, even if they are talking about that sure-fire witchcraft spell some cousin has just gotten for getting even with her rival. About moving out and living apart. Most kids prefer to stay with family until they move together with their spouse. Only if they move away to look for economic opportunities elsewhere in the country will they live apart.
But even these kids will head back to see the family every time they have a chance. You might have heard about how staunchly catholic Mexico is. But that does not mean, that they know: Too much about what the Bible says Too much about what Church doctrine is and what it means Mexico was only superficially evangelized by the Spanish. There are a lot of secular people, even among the poor.
Some people will attend Mass regularly, confess themselves often and get their Sacraments - sometimes! A surprising number of people choose to live in free unions, meaning married by the court and not by the Church. This is often, because they do not have all Sacraments, or they shy away from livelong marriage or they cannot afford the huge party usually thrown. We had an intimate little wedding for some people with no dancing band my girl sparing me from embarrassing myself Her cousin had one 10 times as big.
And lived for years with their parents afterwards! She will do the same to you. Chiple is an expression coming from an Indian language, not sure if it is Nahuatl. Buying expensive stuff, taking her out for dinner, whatever you find out that she likes mine loved to go on road trips - still does. By accident, I do to! My then girlfriend never would pay for dinner,- I would not let her!
This is not on your list! But they pay a lot of attention to their outfits and spend a considerable amount of money on it. When in Mexico for dating, I would strongly advise to dress up!
Not in a tux or necessarily in a smart business outfit, but at least one pair of trousers that are not shorts or jeans and a long sleeved shirt is on the order, as well as shoes that go with this. Yes, long sleeved, even in warm regions! You also can wear short sleeved shirts, even Tees on informal occasions. This applies mainly when going out with your girl she likes to show off her catch to her envious friends!
If you hang around longer, get more outfits, so the family pictures do not show you with the same shirt all the time. You come across as stingy poor thing…. None of these are traits that are cherished. The same goes for your rental car or your own. This is considered part of your outfit. Keep it clean and tidy and get something representative! Put some cream on your tacos, as they say there! Meaning you can brag a little!
Don Quijote is alive and well in Mexico! Meaning lots of people have actually read that novel - and you as a man can do nothing wrong in holding up the door, opening her the car door, and things like that. If this comes quite naturally to you it will give you points! Stand up to your woman if she gets some ill treatment and be ready to defend her. But often, women in Mexico know how to stand up for themselves.
But it is a nice gesture - unless she will tell otherwise. Another aspect is that you may be expected to propose formally to her father, or another masculine figure of authority in case the father is absent. You basically ask for permission to be the boyfriend of your love! Most women do not really care for this, but will go along for family and tradition.
Try to do that in Spanish. When dating a Mexican girl, knowing Spanish is a must, even if she is perfectly bilingual. Her mother may be not! Expect family to wield a huge influence on her so you will know what they talk about. Many parents will ask you to go into fiance status rather quickly and move on to marriage. It then will depend on your girlfriend if she wants to go along with this. Expect that a lot of Mexican families to have strong matriarchly aspects to them.
Men might be machos on the street and at work, but at home, many have not much sway. Observe the uncles, cousins brothers and husbands of aunts.
The way they treat their wives at home is what your girlfriend will expect from you. You might not like what you see: I did bring in my own views and we did things differently right from the beginning. Not my way and nor hers, but ours. Flowers and stuff like perfumes and jewelry are personal issues, no two persons are alike in this.
Mine thought it a waste of money me to buy her flowers since they would wilt within hours in the local desert climate. She rather wanted a house for us two that had a real bathroom in it. Perfumes and jewelry she preferred to select to her liking - accepting me to pay for it, though. One thing many girls like in Mexico, even when they would tell otherwise: Throw a serenade with a live mariachi band - if you know how to sing and your girl likes this sort of music.
Or any other style of music. Find out first if such stuff will be appreciated before making a fool out of you. But Mexicans laugh often and heartily and this might be worth it! But always stay true to your inner self. Do not try to be an actor, in comes across as dishonest - a dealbreaker with many if not most Mexican women, maybe women in general.
But in Mexico they seem to be more adamant about it. Which leads us to…. With Mexican women, stay with the truth all the time. No funny stories, no lame excuses. Many do expect us gringos Europeans included for this to be more straightforward and honest. Live up to that stereotype, it is a good trait, to be seen as straightforward and honest. The part of machoism that women depise most in Mexico is them telling lies about their shortcomings and of course - affairs.
As they say in Mexico Better ask for forgiveness than for permission if you do something she deems as incorrect. Lastly I might add something about dating superficiality: In Mexico, you will find surprisingly well educated people even among the poorer sections of the population who love to talk about fine arts, politics and the like. So brush up your knowledge about history, politics and arts, specially literature if you want to participate - and remember: You are entitled to your opinion, but not to change that of others!
The insights presented in this long essay are still worthwhile to read and think about. But other folks are simpler and you could be surprised about the blunt language otherwise well-bred girls would enploy when talking about their physique and sex in general. If you think, everybody gets to marriage as a virgin you might be in for a surprise.
In my case, I probably waited too long to make my move. I went for a visit of 6 weeks after our Long Distance Relationship of a few months. We did not exchange our first really meaningful kiss until the third week - after which she would invite herself to my motel room I was staying in!
This of course depends on the person. But from my experience, women in Mexico like sex and do approach men if they find him attractive.