I've been on more dates than I can count, kiss closed a zillion, f-closed a zillion, and had a few meaningful relationships all from online dating. I left a comment in another thread saying I do alright, and subsequently have been getting PMs asking for advice, so here you go.
The persona that does best for me is whimsical and funny with just a sprinkle of seriousness. So try to write with a whimsical and funny voice. I'm being completely serious about that. Drinking will make you whimsical, and stand-up comedy will make you a little funnier. Girls love to laugh, and so they love funny guys. If you read girls' profiles, you'll see some variation of the phrase, "I love to laugh" or "I love a good sense of humor" about times. Humor is like a social aphrodisiac.
Make an active effort to not try too hard. It's hard to put into words guys who are obviously trying too hard; it's one of those things you can only call out when you see it. But I'm sure you've seen it before. Don't sound like you're trying too hard. Rather, demonstrate your qualities. What does that mean? It means don't use adjectives or broad, vague descriptors like, "I'm funny" or "I'm adventurous" or anything that literally any other guy could say. Those are descriptions, and they are meaningless, because anybody can say them.
Don't just say you're funny; BE funny. So instead of, "I have a good sense of humor," you should say something like, "If George Carlin and Mitch Hedberg had a love child, I would be the result. Minus the whole drug addiction thing from Hedberg. This year I'm training to climb Mount McKinley. I don't even know if you think you are funny or adventurous. These are just examples.
Girls are going to like the latter guy better every time. I'm going to give more examples of demonstrations versus descriptions, because it's really important. Say for example you want to describe yourself as "mirthful and blustery. She didn't say, "I'm mirthful, blustery, funny, and I hate boring conversations.
You should aim to do the same. Tell a story about when you were mirthful and blustery. Don't write a resume about yourself, paint a picture of yourself. Chuck Palahniuk has a good essay on how to write with engrossing detail. It's for fiction writers, but the principles apply equally to writing your profile.
Paint a picture of yourself. Setting yourself apart is one of the most important factors of success, because she's reading many profiles in one sitting and they all start to blur together before long.
The reason is, girls are browsing hundreds of profiles and getting anywhere from 10 to 90 messages a day not an exaggeration. They don't have the time or patience to read a novel length snore-fest from some guy on the internet who they have absolutely no investment in. Therefore, your goal should be to be short, sweet, and to the point--that goes for both profiles and messages. You want to make maximum impact with minimal words. DO NOT get wordy unless you're awesome and know for a fact you are enthralling with your words.
If you've written something, chances are you need to cut it in half, and even then it'll be too long. That's actually an exercise writers do to improve--they write, then they cut it in half. This one is hard for me to elaborate on.
You kind of just know it when you see it. Phrases like "I'm looking for true love" or anything remotely similar are phrases that send up "I'm trying too hard" flags. You want to sound casual, as though you're just here to meet cool new people, and if a romance blossoms from that, that's a nice bonus. Like I said, girls are browsing hundreds of profiles. You have to make yourself stand out. That means you can't say something every other guy in the world has already said.
So when you write something, ask yourself, "Has she probably heard this line or a similar one before? If you're not sure what's too unoriginal, browse profiles for about 40 guys, and you'll start to see the same thing get written ooooover and oooover again. If you browse enough women's profiles, you'll notice the same thing too I actually comment on this in my profile.
But look at guys' profiles so you can see specific examples of what lines, descriptions, and phrases are overused. Aside from humor, these are the hot-button qualities girls find attractive in guys. For example, a lot of people say something along the lines of, "I like to go out and have fun, but I also like to stay in and chill.
So you want to choose one--"go out" or "chill. You probably do like to go out and stay in equally as much. But you sound decisive and passionate when you pick the one you like best and state that one.
So that phrase should be changed to something more like, "Life is short, so I'd almost always rather go out and meet new people, ask homeless guys for money, or play match-maker in a retirement home.
Oh and most importantly The purpose is to spark their interest and make them want to find out more. This means you can't tell them everything, be too specific, or be too much of an open book. I mean, you can be specific and say things about yourself, but every once in a while, you want to be somewhat mysterious to grab their interest. So for example, instead of saying something like, "I had a great time travelling to Mexico because we met a guy named Pedro who gave us a tour of his hometown, and we almost got trampled to death by a stray bull.
Trust me on this one. Sounds like an interesting story Remember, girls like guys who are "mysterious. Tell interesting stories, but don't give details about yourself. That way she'll think she knows a lot about you because your stories paint pictures , yet nothing at all because you leave out personal details. I didn't know guys actually do this.
Only post good pictures of yourself. Girls like guys who have "social proof. Nobody likes a boring loner. It's okay to post a picture of yourself alone, but only if it makes sense -- like a head shot that you didn't take yourself -- one that was cropped from another picture, or maybe taken professionally.
Never post a picture you took of yourself unless it's really really funny or demonstrates a good part of your personality. Girls hate it when guys post self-taken pictures. I know I said "most importantly" a few times now, but this next one is really probably the most important Look at all these hooks! They'll immediately click away from profiles that don't use proper spelling and grammar. Girls want guys who are educated and well read.
Enough girls use it as a screen to make it important. It's a simple fix. Edit your shit to sound halfway smart. If you have any questions or criticisms, message me.