Funny Facebook Status Updates is a great way to brighten up your profile page and we share the best ideas here on geekersmagazine. You have landed on the right page. This article is all about very funny Facebook status messages that have been written by real people. You will find here all Funniest Facebook Status. Read the full collection of the funny Facebook statuses and tell us what you think.
Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions. I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak. X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
X is color blind and trying to solve a Rubiks cube… This could take a while. X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house. What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Waking up every 3 hours crying for food. X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said years. People say that love is in every corner……gosh! Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear. She calls me her sixty-second lover. Ha ha ha, erect. Make love, not war. Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police. The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary. Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart. People who write diet books live off the fat of the land. Doctors waiting room needs some music. And a pole in the middle of the room.
So many stupid people, and so few asteroids. X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain. Yes, I know how to shut up. You miss percent of the shots u never take. Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret. I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time. I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged. X thinks that calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables, chairs, walls, floors and …. But I can fly. Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant. Of course, I like my own comments.
Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning. I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos. X just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! X believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free. Is anyone going to put anything funny on here????? If women ruled the world there would be no wars.
Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other. I married my wife for her looks. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to Life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Well played Wally, well played. Hi, my name is Damimeve. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Insert coin to view my status message. We have so much in common. Drinks on you home. So, sex at my place? NEVER trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.
Bin Laden just updated her Facebook status to single. Sometimes your Knight in shinning armour is just an idiot wrapped in tinfoil. We guys have two emotions: If you see us without an erection, make us a sandwich!