When people make out in public near me or if someone tries to kiss me around other people, I feel Angela Chase-awkward. However, when presented the opportunity to have sex in a public place, all bets are off. We drove to Sutton Place, which is a small exclusive neighborhood in Manhattan, where many diplomats live and there is private security everywhere.
We parked on a dead-end and got it on. In all fairness, the physical act of sex was very easy because he drove a Cadillac Escalade, which is larger than some apartments in New York. He sat down in the back seat, I hiked up my skirt and sat on his lap.
Six years later, we are friends and we still reminisce about how hot it was. So how did I end up having dressing-room sex? It was completely spontaneous. We were already in the dressing room when I realized this was the perfect time and place for naughtiness. We were there to shop because he was having a fashion emergency. Ted is a grad student and anything beyond a white Hanes t-shirt and board shorts is getting really dressed up for him.
We had to go to an event that night and he had nothing appropriate to wear. Ted sat down on one of those built-in benches and he began to try on shirts. Seizing the moment, I told Ted how good he looked and I kissed him. Then I had the idea: This was the perfect place for an afternoon delight.
I was wearing loose cotton shorts, which I took off, along with my underwear. I sat on my shorts, so my bare butt wouldn't be touching the bench. I sat on the bench with my legs open in a modified Pilates position. At one point, I wrapped my legs around his shoulders. I am 5'3" and Ted is 5'10," so he had to squat a bit to get leverage.
Ted said the single most important aspect of dressing-room sex, at least for the guy, is proper leverage. Here are a few tips for having sex in a dressing room: He will certainly stand out trying to go in.
You need to accept that your butt is going to be on a hard bench, chair or against a wall, and focus on the sex itself -- not your minor discomfort. It helps if one or both of you is flexible. I am extremely flexible, so it was fast and easy to find a position that would work for us. Having a bit of privacy is helpful for having sex in a public place.
If there's someone using the dressing room next to you, it obviously might get weird for you -- or them! The larger and more secluded the room, the better. There are bad times to try to have a good time. This is a great opportunity to show your man your best orgasm face, not show off your impression of Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally. People will hear you and you will get caught. Or better yet, guide him with your hands. If you make a mess, clean it up.
Bring a tissue or five. And put your clothing back on the hanger properly. Leave the room how you found it. It might be a good idea to actually buy something -- or at least look like it. Your 20 minutes in the dressing room will be less obvious this way. When walking out, try not to look like you just had sex. Fix your hair and get the glow off your face. Walk out of the room as if nothing happened because if you followed my rules, no one will have any reason to think something did.
Do you have any naughty tales of public sex? Any tips for getting it on without getting caught? Did you get caught?