Tuthmosis is a Columnist-at-Large at Return of Kings. You can follow him on Twitter. Like it or not, online dating has emerged as a legit player in the dating market in recent years. What was once the repository for the dregs of female creation has become—for better and worse—a go-to dating option for a growing segment of even top-shelf girls.
The whole process is really the product of a perfect storm in the American dating market. Economic realities and cultural shifts have also made going out less appealing. Girls, as I have written elsewhere, have hair-trigger tolerances for awkwardness and discomfort. A growing number of the quality guys—disillusioned by crushing male-to-female ratios, high drink costs, cockblocking, the fatty epidemic, and other night-life realities—have largely checked out of the club-and-bar scene.
After dismissing online dating, for years, as little more than a crutch for approach anxiety, a time-suck with little real yield, and dumpster diving, I slowly recognized these forces converging. Over the course of the past two years, I have spent, literally, thousands of hours pouring over online profiles, unwittingly learning more about online dating and, frankly, the female psyche than I thought possible in that time.
These hours have yielded countless dates and, more importantly, a deep well of knowledge. She gets constant input on Facebook, and elsewhere, about how she looks and when she looks best. Add to that, that from an even younger age, she has learned how to pose for the camera or hold the camera herself to maximize how flattering a picture turns out. When a girl chooses pictures for her online profile, she brings that deep knowledge of her physiology and, quite plainly, photography, to bear.
In my experience, there was one exception, but that is statistically insignificant. Cynically manipulating the aforementioned knowledge of photography, fat girls will often use subterfuge to minimize or conceal her liability.
This goes beyond the infamous—and now well-understood— Myspace-Angles technique of taking pictures from an oblique angle above her head to minimize size. Fatties use a panoply of other, subtler tricks that emphasize her best traits and distract an unsuspecting, or ill-trained, online-dater from her worst.
These are often simple crimes of omission. A girl with a cute face, but a dumpy body, often fills her profile with nothing but head shots, tightly and strictly cropped at the neck. If a girl only looks fat in one of her pictures, but look seemingly normal in the rest, remember Commandment No. She will be fat. Some other likely giveaways of a SIF or other bad optics: Includes fewer than three pictures in her profile.
Displays the tell-tale fat arms, invisible collar bone, or sausage-finger hands. Broadcasts clear over-emphasis of one part of the body breasts, ass, legs , to the exclusion of the other parts. Pictured with ugly or fat friends only cute girls have cute friends, always. Pictured with food or at a restaurant. People are jumping and throwing stuff. The bell is ringing. The ticker is flying. Not all of those offers are going to be good, so on-point messaging and logistical planning will help you stand out from the noise.
There are other time- and resource-wasting landmines lurking in the shadows. Sport daters who go out on tons of online dates, treating each batch of dudes as an evaluative round of elimination. Careerist chicks; mentions of having tried online dating before; unsolicited mentions of prior dates in discussion or profile.
You eventually get a knack for it, but better to rush setting up a date a little bit than wait too long. Online dating is here to stay. Like any source for mating prospects—probably from the moment that first amphibian walked onto dry land—online dating is filled with its own set of annoyances, perils, and, more importantly, hacks.