Best way to keep me posted is call the show hotline or go to shrinkfortheshyguy. I love reading notes. I can get emails there, you can leave me a voicemail there and we can just stay in touch because I want to know how this is working for you.
You specifically, you matter to me and I want to make sure that this stuff is helping you along your way and also to further help you along the way. There are so much of us have this fear, right? I did for years. Like be willing to point out just little discrepancy in the way the conversation is flowing.
So, what I want to ask these guys is where are you at with risking emotional pain? Am I afraid of being abandoned, rejected, controlled, ignored, shamed, overwhelmed, and inadequate? These are some of the commonest fears that human beings carry and those are just labels. But one of those labels might speak to you. And you know that truth skill revising could be used here to develop the deeper parts of yourself is after an interaction.
But later on, you have some, almost like critique of what the other person said or some differentiation some way that you are actually seeing something from a unique perspective.
So, if you can find a differentiating comment, go back and say it later. Now in a dating situation that would not probably be that appropriate. You agree to be able to disagree. And the reason I had that is because I was like well, okay. But the other thing they do is provide you a way to be more differentiated to not be a nice guy but then what comes with that I think can be a whole new persona that is not authentic.
That a nice guy is substitute tough guy — Dr. You need to be more mysterious. You need to challenge. You need to be a challenge. You need to like flirt with her and then move away and let her come after you.
You need to be unpredictable. Skip the path answers and the path rules for the new way to be, how to be, how to be cool and how to be mysterious. I call, you know I have a whole chapter called Flirting with Presence, just saying something about your present observation is hugely powerful for women. Absolutely and I think one thing you said in there just tied so many things together for me. Do you want to feel good about who you are on a daily basis? You may not know this but loving yourself is actually a skill.
Aziz is so passionate about this that he wants to give you three of these tools for free in his new e-book in audio training program called 3 Ways to Truly Love yourself in two weeks. To claim your free copy, simply go to www. You said doing something that willing to take the risk that might make the other person feel a little discomfort.
And that will backfire on you because you become boring. And those are the things that make the interaction exciting or fun or engaging or genuine. So, you want to look for those. When you do a Monday morning quarterback on your date, you look for the things that were somewhere down there, maybe just under the surface. So, if someone wants to go much deeper, they should get that book. How can someone… Dr. So, the line is just getting longer and longer. So, you just like say something about the environment.
You gave a good one when you were talking about your handshaking. This man comes right up to me and says his heart started beating maybe I better pay attention here.
Maybe this is a message. You know I look at you and oh, you look like — well, first this is more about the other person now. You look like somebody that I would want to know. Do you have — would you be willing to after you check out, set outside for a few minutes and have a chat?
You know you make a bid. But you know this is really coming out from where like what if I just be authentic from the beginning. Like it just became a lot easier to meet people and the world became a more accessible friendly place and I think the biggest thing is just a willingness to try, it occurs to try. What thoughts do you have on how to build that courage? Well, I have a vision like you Aziz of making the world a friendlier place and particularly making the dating world a friendlier place.
What if it was just somebody in the post office like that I was saying something more unfriendly to? But we put so much heaviness on it around all the stakes. So, there is a little bit of inner coaching or at least having an aim.
But remember that the aim is to be a more relaxed, to have a more relaxed friendly world and somehow take it a little bit beyond your own ego. We can contribute to making the dating world safer. I hear that phrase and it just makes me want to cry. So, think of yourself as a friendliness ambassador. I mean you have to take risks so. What happens if something happens now? There is pain out there. So, I just love that message of inspiration. Well, if you go to Susancampbell.
It has quite a bit of the stuff that you and I have been talking about in it. So, I like to be accessible to people and of course I give workshops and seminars and private coaching to. Thank you so much for taking time and sharing so many useful helpful insights and I just appreciate your sense of humor and clarity with all this stuff.
So, thank you so much. I enjoyed talking to you a lot, Aziz. So, carry on your good work too. That brings us to the end of the interview and the end of our show. Time for action Dr. Be more expressive and just see what happens. Take it as an experiment. Take that risk and do it today.
And thanks so much for joining me today. For free blogs, e-books and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence go to http: Music Credit All music is licensed or provided royalty free.