Bridal News Print this out. If anyone were to hold the secret to what makes a successful marriage, it would be John Legend and Chrissy Teigen. So when BuzzFeed quizzed John Legend on dating, relationships, how to keep a marriage going strong, as well as more complex topics like trying to conceive and dealing with post-partum depression , we were listening. That's the way you've got to be — you have to be supportive of each other.
We both want each other to succeed, and we want to be part of each other's successes as much as we can. Obviously our jobs intersect in a lot of ways that other people's may not. But either way, you should always want your partner to feel fulfilled and happy in what they're doing. And you shouldn't feel jealous if they're getting joy from something other than you, because it can make your relationship better.
If she wasn't, I don't know how easy it would be. But I am with someone who's funny and clever, and we get to travel a lot and do a lot of exciting things. But I think you have to make some effort too — you can't just expect it to unfold that way.
You need to go on dates, you need to do things that make you remember why you fell in love with each other in the first place. You see someone's mood decline and then stay in a darker place for a while and it's a challenge for you.
You don't know if it's you, if it's something you did wrong, or what you can do to help. You have to understand the science of what happens to a woman's body after she delivers a baby — it's a common thing. And, if you do understand, you can speak to professionals and get through it. But if you don't understand, you're just like, "Why is she mad at me for this?
There's all kinds of symptoms that you might think are individual and aren't related to something else. But, when it comes down to it, they're all part of the same suite of things that are happening. If you don't deal with it as an overall issue, then you just think you have all of these little fires to put out. Once you understand they're all related to one another it's easier to deal with, because you know it's not all about you. You know it's not your fault, it's not your wife's fault — she didn't do anything wrong to make her feel this way, it's sometimes just how your body works.
You just have to help each other, support each other, and you'll get through it. Because no matter how busy you are — even if you work a lot — you can make time to hang out with someone you really like. If someone is telling you they're busy, and it's happening for weeks on end, then they are probably not interested. It was a few months in and it just felt different. Any grace period I had with exes is over! But if you're with somebody else and you're getting flirty texts from your ex then you need to cut that off, because that's not going to help your current relationship.
Unless you still have feelings for the other person — then you might not want to be with the new person. There's something about that that's exciting to people, but if you really want the new relationship to work, you can't be flirting with the ex. If you need to block the number, block the number.
Try to erase the temptation out of your life and keep it at bay. We didn't get too worried about the science of it all, the method of it all, whether we did it naturally or with fertility treatments. But sooner or later we decided we didn't want to wait around for it to happen naturally, and we were ready to have kids. We met with our doctor and they explained how it worked and we went with it and did it. If that didn't work we would have adopted and we'd have been fine with that too.
I think it helps that I'm with someone who's very in touch with their emotions. She helps me not take myself too seriously. It's good when you have that match of partners where one has a characteristic that helps bring out something new in the other person. But you have to understand that there's some compromises you're going to have to make.
Even if it's just picking out a couch, or a duvet cover, or some pillows, every little thing is going to be a conversation. You're lucky if the person has similar tastes to you. Chrissy and I have very similar design tastes. Her design taste actually leans more in the masculine direction, so we meet in the middle. As with anything, you have to respect each other, have to communicate, and you have to be willing to not get everything you want all the time.
Obviously it's a luxury to have help and people around that can take over the babysitting duties. My mother-in-law is with us a lot — she lives a mile or two from us, but she's at our house more than she's at her house. We love having her around and she helps with the baby a lot too. So we have the luxury of going out and knowing that we can trust the people we're leaving the baby with.
If you have that, then you should take advantage of it, and make sure you go out on some dates. Get dressed up, feel pretty, feel handsome, and feel sexy because you need those moments too.