Give me a definition for this and we should be able to easily wrap up the answer here. This is all about the definitions. Racism is a belief that, because someone is of a particular race, they hold some characteristic or is more likely to —and typically a positive or negative attribute that is not based in clear fact.
A person of a particular race might be more likely to have some genetic condition, but if that's well backed up in evidence, then we generally wouldn't call that racist. It's all about definitions of course. Often, when a parent doesn't want their white daughter to date a non-white man, it's because they don't feel a non-white person will fit in, be as kind, be as smart, etc.
Those are all obviously racist reasons. Suppose though that you would, all else being equal, prefer your white daughter to not date a black man because you are fully aware that racism is a big problem for black people.
You are aware of your own white privilege. You understand that interracial relationships face additional challenges and you want your daughter and her children to have an easier life. Under the earlier definition, this is not racism. It is perhaps an overreaction and maybe even selfish someone's gotta have interracial marriages or the stigma won't change , but you're not assuming anything bad about the partner.
You just want your daughter to have less stress in her life. Many people, if they were willing to be totally honest, would prefer this—all else being equal, of course. Say whatever you want about parents who want to give their children idyllic lives it's a bad idea in certain ways , but doing so is unrelated to racism. Now, if you define racism as any change in thoughts or behavior towards someone as a result of their race, then it would be racist by this definition.
It's really quite a simple and boring question once you get your terms defined. The question is ultimately reduced to how you define racism. It was an awful experience; her dad was kind of neutral, but her mom was really unfriendly, to such a degree that I could describe her as impertinent. She obviously had some prejudices and stereotypes towards Chinese, such as a lack of civilized norms, talking loudly in public, and the inability to speak English well.
She wouldn't accept that I am pretty much the opposite of her preconceived impression of Chinese. They knew I guess their daughter was dating me—a Chinese , I just still don't understand why they invited me to the dinner, well maybe to disparage me so I would stop dating their daughter.
For me, it actually saved me a lot of trouble of dealing with narrow-minded people. Racist is not only about disliking another race, is about being ignorant and arrogant. They changed the locks and ceased all contact with me. After he cheated on me and I ended the relationship, we eventually reconciled. By then, my parents were pretty old. As their relationship progressed, we decided to introduce them. They never satisfied her desire.
Her hell was mostly created by attempting to control the uncontrollable. I guided and advised. Although my mom periodically expressed concerned about grandchildren having a hard time because of the way people treat people who are mixed race, she accepted him and there was no drama.
Times have changed in that regard. In fact, recently Dad bought himself some amazing new titanium pots. They just locked me out. He was 26 when we began dating and I was He tried to get me to do drugs. I, fortunately, respected my mind too much to join him and his friends. He was fired from the place where we both worked for theft I learned that later. It is racist to consider race when you decide who you want your children to date. The following is the type of criteria I use to determine if I am pleased with someone my daughter dates.
How does the person treat her in general? Is your daughter a better person or worse when they are together? Is she treated with respect? Is her voice heard in the relationship? Do they have similar interests? Do they have fun together? Will they be able to raise a child together without too much disagreement on how to make decisions about their child? Are they good at communicating with one another, or willing to increase their skills?
Is there drama or trauma when my daughter wants to do something without them or spend time with her friends? Are their intelligence levels and trajectories on the same path i. Do they have psychological flexibility?
Do they lean toward love? Consider what you want for your daughter. For my daughters, I want them to be happy, healthy, and to feel free to become who they want to become.
I want them to be in relationships where they have freedom to grow and become rather than one where they are expected to remain the way they were when they entered the relationship. It is not meant to indicate that black men cheat. Some men of all races and cultures cheat but there are great men who come from all races and cultures, too. You are not evaluating someone on his own merits but on his alleged belonging to some group.
I also wonder if the question is hypothetical or something that actually happened. Such bias is really quite common and most people will project their own famillial pattern on their children. Just give him a chance, you may like him, why not if your daughter love him, and it may totally change your mind and the way you see the world.