Ana Mathews June 05, Movies plant ideas in our heads about everything from how to dress to what relationships should be like. How have movies and TV shows altered the way teens perceive dating? How realistic is fictional dating when compared to dating in real life? To gather insight, I decided to go full journalist and asked some of my peers about their thoughts on the topic. Below are my not-really-scientific but still-very-very-interesting findings.
Movies, TV shows, books, etc. Media makes it look like a courtship — someone is taking another person on a wild ride through town or an extraordinarily charming experience. You read about or see in movies the guy taking the girl on a moonlight dinner date or walk in the park.
In reality, most dates are watching a movie and not talking at all. If I want to know if this guy is going to be my significant other, I want to get to know him first and vise versa. A healthy relationship is based on communication. During the first date, I will touch on these subjects subtly and casually. I expect the person I am on the date with do the same. The first date is a way of gauging whether or not a relationship could ensue or not, so judging on how they react to what I find important and how I react to theirs, I can see how promising the relationship will be.
All in all, I expect to be able to confidently ask for a second date or decline an offer for one. Some of the best dates can be from movies or books. This way, both people get the satisfaction of contributing. For example, my first date was a trip across the fields at my house, picking up metal.
Otherwise, figuring out who should pay for what is difficult. However, if the relationship is meant to move to next step, it will do so naturally, and should not be stressed over too much. Guys are just as nervous as girls are, so why should everything but up to them?
It varies with each person. Its all based on how you see your relationship. It could also be used to describe romantic interest that seems to be leading to something more. You like them; you care for them. For me, I had a thing for a guy my freshman year. I still hope he is doing well even though that thing is not as strong as it was. They are strong, and defined how all of them are — through an emotional feeling for one another.
Is this something that happens in real life, and if so, how necessary is it to have this conversation? If things seem to be serious or are getting long-term, the couple should have a chat about their plans for the relationship, just to avoid confusion or misunderstanding. I think it should happen at the beginning of a relationship. For example, one person might want to take it easy and go slow. The other might want to go fast have everything done before they are even There has to be boundaries.
I have boundaries; everyone has boundaries. Since you are in a relationship WITH someone, it is crucial to make sure that both people are in agreement before any further steps are taken. If someone is trying to study for a test and you walk in trying to sweep them off their feet, they might not appreciate you distracting them.
I saw on a TV show a husband giving his wife a teddy bear as big as her and two flower bouquets bigger than her head. Make sure the other person is comfortable with the gift amount and type you would like to give, and moderate yourself based on their preferences. The weird things are the extra physical touches or the inappropriate public affections.
That gets too much for everyone. Some people require very few romantic gestures while others expect a lot. It becomes weird when it is overbearing. It depends on how close to the movies the guy acts; some are more romantic while others are more laid-back. Life is not a sitcom, though it can be better than a writer would be able to make it. Misunderstandings and funny things happen, and hidden common interests will eventually come up.
Whether it be family, a career, or even a specific character trait, a major sacrifice is almost always made. In real life, it should be the opposite. We need to find someone for ourselves that will not ask us to give anything up to be with them. The only difference I see is that, in some movies, the couple gets back together after a conflict.
Overall, you can learn some very good things from fictional dating. Thinking about how portrayal of dating and love in movies and on TV impacts how we see our real life relationships was eye-opening. Dating really is something that cannot be broken down into steps or formulas; there is no guidebook that could accurately portray dating and be effective for everyone. But, if you express your thoughts and opinions clearly to your partner, you could end up with a relationship better than even Hollywood could dream up.